How I lost 1/3rd of my hair due to OCD

Here is a recent picture (taken 10 minutes ago 😉 ) of me.

Pretty regular, you could say.
The reality, however, is that I lost about 1/3 of my hair.

How it happened

Part of the OCD ritual that calms me down is dyeing my hair.
I would always use the cheaper box dye from the supermarket.
On bad days, I would do it twice a day for a week.

My hair got really dry, but nothing really extreme happened.
Until it did.

It was the 16th of January when I promised myself that would be the last time
I couldn’t be more right.

I let the product sit for the usual 20-30 minutes and stepped in the shower.
I quickly noticed a clogged drain.
I looked down to the horror that had occurred.

With shaking hands I wiped away the mist on the mirror only to see what I already knew.
The hair on my crown has shrunk to barely a centimeter.

But it didn’t end there.

Next steps

The next day, while crying, I called a hair dresser who is specialised in such cases.
She would have time for me in 1.5 week, but insured me it would stop.

That calmed me down for a while, but I continued losing more hair.
Most of it broke off to a very short length, but a lot fell out from the root too.
I was very scared to go bald.

I was following whatever tips the internet was telling me.
I spent a lot of money on expensive hair products and all kinds vitamin pills.

Every morning I woke up half an hour earlier to fix my hair with a lot of bobby pins since I looked like I had a pineapple on my head.

Situation now

Here is a picture of the short pieces now.
This is only the top of my hair, but I have very short pieces on the side too.


I know some of you will say “Stop being dramatic, it’s only hair”.

Of course, there are worse things in the world.
But what makes me angry and disappointed is that this terrible disease is completely taking over my life.

Also, I have a job where I have to appear professionally.
Not to mention how ugly I felt.

I am still losing a bit more hair than I should, but since the beginning of this month, it has reduced a lot.
It took 2.5 months to able look in the mirror and not hating what I see.

What I have learned from this experience

I had promised myself I would start therapy, but this hair disaster was the ultimate realization that I needed help.
I guess something really bad needed to happen for me to take that step..

I will never, ever put any strong chemicals on my hair.
And this is the one thing that I can recommend to all of you.
Don’t ever think “This won’t happen to me”.
I thought the same.
And if  you do want to experiment, please consult a hair specialist.

The past few weeks have been quite a rollercoaster for me.
I expected this year to be awesome.
Or at least calm and peaceful.
But I guess that was whisful thinking.

Have you ever had a bad hair experience?

Is your mental health illness taking your life?

35 thoughts on “How I lost 1/3rd of my hair due to OCD

  1. oh my goodness! Sometimes stuff like this can actually kind of shock you back to your senses. When I was younger, before I had any idea what OCD was, I would calm myself by pulling my hair out at the root. Slowly and deliberately. Then my mom showed me the half dollar size bald spot I had on the top of my head and explained Trichotillomania. Every time I felt the urge, I’d touch that bald spot and be like, NOPE. I am so glad it grew back in! That was the shock I needed to stop it right there and I never did it again. (I mean, I still went on to have anxiety other OCD stuff, but at least I have all my hair! LOL)

  2. I often would see people on YouTube talking about it, but never imagined it could happen to me.
    How wrong was I.
    I really hope this can be a lesson for those that go crazy with hair colors!

  3. Yeah! I actually have heard a lot of people with OCD would pull their hair.
    Luckily I never did, but then I found another way to loose my hair 😦

    Happy to hear that you quit! I think sometimes sometimes really bad needs to happen for people to stop!

  4. I have heard about people going through similar problems but never thought it could actually cause something like this. I hope the condition of your hair gets better. And don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m sure the coming months will be better for you.

  5. OMG, you know what, the same is happening with me and I am only 18.
    I often move to diff cities and due to the change of water type. I started loosing hair.😭😭
    But good thing is that My hair is also growing so , (+ * -) = neutral.
    But it is not so big as it was used to be.
    I hope your hair get back soon.

  6. I’ve always heard that dying your hair is damaging but I didn’t realize it to be this extensive. I’m so sorry to hear that you went through this but I’m super happy to read that this was what led you to seek help.

    Of course, you know about my bad hair experience!

  7. I never ever thought it would ever happen to me! You hear the stories of others, but still.
    But you are right, now that my hair looks a bit more normal I think it was a positive experience!
    And if I ever have a daughter, that’s the first thing I am going to teach her!

    Haha, yeah you weren’t lucky with hair either.
    Actually because of your story , I will also invest in a good hair dresser once it has grown a little!

  8. Yeah! I never expected it could happen to me.
    It is a lot better and I know it will grow back stronger and more healthy!

    Thanks for your encouragement 🙂

  9. It was a big shock indeed, but the advantage is that it will grow back healthier.
    And hopefully I have learned my lesson and never experiment on my own again! 🙂

  10. I’ve wrecked my hair more than once–though it didn’t break off or out, I only had to chop it all (twice) or dye it again the same day. On the latter, a bleach and two dyes, I thought it was going to fall out for sure. What a disaster. Also, it was incredibly embarrassing to walk in the pharmacy with bright orange hair, even with a hat on.

    I learned my lesson too. Just took a while. 😊

  11. Oh Andrea, I am so sorry. I don’t think you’re being overdramatic at all. While it is “just hair,” it is also part of your confidence & I get that. I hope that it will grow back in lightning speed. ♡

  12. Oh my goodness, that is so scary! It’s not just hair, it’s part of who you are! You’re not being overdramatic whatsoever. I hope it stops falling out and grows back super quickly for you. I never knew hair could just start breaking off if you dye it too much!

  13. Thanks Hunida!
    Hair is very important, especially when it happens out of the sudden. I was never expecting this, but still I had to show up the next day.

    Things are looking a lot better now than 2 months ago! I will just let it grow now and not do anything crazy with it! Looking forward to the moment that’s healthy and shinny again 😀

  14. Thanks Courtney! I agree.
    Hair is really quite important to me.

    I hope this can be a warning for everyone who is going crazy with their hair. Really stop doing it, because apparently it really can happen.

  15. Oh man! I have been there as well. I once walked around with yellow hair for a month!
    It was either that or the hair dresser assured me it would fall out.

    Actually I think the shops should stop selling these box dying products.
    People think they safe money with it. Well no!

  16. My hair was shortish then and I was ready to shave it off if it didn’t get to a semi-okay color or fall out or I’d have left it too.

    I don’t think I’d have had such a problem if I’d stuck to the rules and not overdone it.

  17. I do feel your pain! As I do to suffer from ocd and completely understand how hard it is to deal with on and everyday basis. Keep well and be beautiful because your a 👸. And if you need advice beauty tips and support. Please feel free to follow comment ask questions .. I’m here for you girl! Keep strong your to beautiful!

  18. Omg, it’s not just hair! I would cry if my hair broke off into pieces. I am so sorry you had to go through such an experience. I hope it grows back soon!

  19. It was one of the worst experiences in the recent years. It took me a long time before I could realize it was not the end of the world however. ´
    This is definitely one of the biggest lessons I have learned. But I also learned a lot about hair care and I am extremely careful now!

  20. I understand what you are going through, last year half of my hair fell off, I don’t know what caused it but I also had sores that showed up at the same time and I had to cut the rest of it. It was pretty traumatic and the hair hasn’t been growing at a normal rate since then. It still breaks too even though it’s super short, maybe for me it’s stress?
    I hope yours grows back quickly and into healthy hair too. Wish you the best.

  21. Andrea, I hope you are feeling better!! I recently cut my hair short, and it took me a while to get used to the length. (I’m used to having really long hair, and it usually makes me feel more feminine.) I don’t think you’re dramatic. I would have probably reacted the same way. This experience led you to a seek help, and I think that’s what’s important. ❤ Wishing you the best, and we miss you!

  22. Hi lady, I hope you’re doing well (and I secretly hope you post again soon). I’ve nominated you for the Liebster Award and would love for you to take part, if you’re interested. Either way, thanks for always being an inspiration and a source of smiles for me in the blogosphere. 🙂

  23. So glad to hear you’re motivated to get help! Unfortunately, sometimes it does take something super extreme to give us the reality check we need. But it’s so worth it! You can truly transform your life with the help of a therapist! I, too, once felt trapped and controlled by OCD and it was a TERRIBLE time in my life. But now I am thriving and better than ever! There is hope!

  24. Hey – are you doing better?
    Haven’t seen a post in a while. and I miss them.. you’ve been on my mind a lot. but more concerned about your absence.
    You are in my prayers

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