Here is a recent picture (taken 10 minutes ago 😉 ) of me.
Pretty regular, you could say.
The reality, however, is that I lost about 1/3 of my hair.
How it happened
Part of the OCD ritual that calms me down is dyeing my hair.
I would always use the cheaper box dye from the supermarket.
On bad days, I would do it twice a day for a week.
My hair got really dry, but nothing really extreme happened.
Until it did.
It was the 16th of January when I promised myself that would be the last time
I couldn’t be more right.
I let the product sit for the usual 20-30 minutes and stepped in the shower.
I quickly noticed a clogged drain.
I looked down to the horror that had occurred.
With shaking hands I wiped away the mist on the mirror only to see what I already knew.
The hair on my crown has shrunk to barely a centimeter.
But it didn’t end there.
The next day, while crying, I called a hair dresser who is specialised in such cases.
She would have time for me in 1.5 week, but insured me it would stop.
That calmed me down for a while, but I continued losing more hair.
Most of it broke off to a very short length, but a lot fell out from the root too.
I was very scared to go bald.
I was following whatever tips the internet was telling me.
I spent a lot of money on expensive hair products and all kinds vitamin pills.
Every morning I woke up half an hour earlier to fix my hair with a lot of bobby pins since I looked like I had a pineapple on my head.
Here is a picture of the short pieces now.
This is only the top of my hair, but I have very short pieces on the side too.
I know some of you will say “Stop being dramatic, it’s only hair”.
Of course, there are worse things in the world.
But what makes me angry and disappointed is that this terrible disease is completely taking over my life.
Also, I have a job where I have to appear professionally.
Not to mention how ugly I felt.
I am still losing a bit more hair than I should, but since the beginning of this month, it has reduced a lot.
It took 2.5 months to able look in the mirror and not hating what I see.
What I have learned from this experience
I had promised myself I would start therapy, but this hair disaster was the ultimate realization that I needed help.
I guess something really bad needed to happen for me to take that step..
I will never, ever put any strong chemicals on my hair.
And this is the one thing that I can recommend to all of you.
Don’t ever think “This won’t happen to me”.
I thought the same.
And if you do want to experiment, please consult a hair specialist.
The past few weeks have been quite a rollercoaster for me.
I expected this year to be awesome.
Or at least calm and peaceful.
But I guess that was whisful thinking.
Have you ever had a bad hair experience?
Is your mental health illness taking your life?