Dear Manager, don’t you realise?

If you have been following me for a while, you might have noticed that somehow I always end up in a job where I become unhappy.

I hate say it, but lately I have been crying a lot because of my job.

The positive thing is that I absolutely love the actual job.
I love teaching, interacting with students and challange them a little more than most my co-workers do.
And they seem to like me too!
There were a few grumpy exceptions, but mostly I get really positive feedback on the way I deliver my training.

But I wouldn’t be Andrea if someone didn’t decide to mess it up for me.

It was about 2 months ago when I got a small task from my manager.
I had to upload some documents on 10 laptops.
I immediately started it and was finished quite fast.

For a week I didn’t hear anything about and I assumed all was fine.
Until that one day my manager wanted to talk to me.
He presented a written warning right in front of me.
It said I was lazy, refused to do my assignments and I broke the trust.
I had no clue what was going on.

He told me he asked another colleague to check the task I was assigned for.
This colleague said I didn’t upload the documents.
I thought I was going insane.
How could this have happened?!

I tried to convince my manager that there was a misunderstanding and I would try to find out what went wrong.
But he didn’t care. He said all the prove was there that I was a bad employee.

In the next days I did my research to find out what went wrong.
Turns out that I did upload the documents, just not on the location that manager expected me to
But he never specified it either.

Eventually he retracted the written warning, but I never got an apology.
He simply pretends like nothing ever happened.

I, however, cannot forget this.
I lost part of my happiness and it confused my already messed up mental state of mind.
On days that I don’t have to teach, I avoid talking anyone.
I hide in a classroom, lock the door and try to survive 8 hours.

Colleagues have noticed a change in my behavior too.
Some remain neutral. Others try to cheer me up.
But one colleague in particular decided to act on my unhappiness.
He makes things up that he know will stress me out.
Once he even admitted it by saying “I just like to bully you”.
Manager knows about this, but apparently this is perfectly fine.

I have learned from previous experiences however.
Usually I would wait too long with plotting a plan B, but in all these days that I didn’t have to teach I have been either looking for new jobs or just watched Netflix.
Why would I even pretend to care?

Financially I cannot afford it to leave right away, but I know that the company would be in deep shit if I would leave.
This is because there is a certain training that can only performed by people who have an Electrical Engineering background.
And those people are hard to find, otherwise they wouldn’t have hired a foreigner.
They need me as much as I need them.

Throughout my career I had a lot of asshole manager and this is not even the worst one.
I am just wondering what managers think they achieve with this kind of behavior.
They spend a lot of time and money of finding and then training an employee only to make them leave in a short amount of time.

Dear manager,
don’t you realise this doesn’t do your reputation any good?
From previous experience, I can inform you that once one employee leaves due to your asshole behavior, the ice is broken.
It won’t take long for another one to leave. And then a trend has started.
Trust me, you’re not our first employer.
You’re not our best employer.
And for those that are below 55 years, you are certainly not our last.

Have you ever been in a similar story and you would like to share?
Let me know in the comments!


22 thoughts on “Dear Manager, don’t you realise?

  1. A written warning without first talking to you about all that? Ridiculous.
    I absolutely cannot stand it when someone blames you for something you didn’t do. I almost lost my s#%^ the other day because no matter the evidence I presented, they were still convinced I messed up. And I didn’t. Finally, I had to tell them straight up that they were making me very frustrated, because they refuse to accept the facts. WTF? And then they changed their tune. But same – no apology. It was just denial.

    As far as I know, the position I’m in isn’t easy to handle, either. And I’m fine with that. What I’m trying to do is make people more self-aware. I don’t think some of them realize how insane they come off. How the only people in their corner will soon leave if they remain the way they are.

  2. Crazy right!?
    I mean, if at any time I had shown bad attitude, I could have understood.
    But I have only shown respect and hard work. He could have just tried to investigate the misunderstanding with me.

    I can’t believe that they did the same to you! Some people are so stubborn.
    Just admit that you were wrong and let’s not waste any time on it!
    It’s not so much about winning or losing an arguement.
    I am OK with losing if I have to spend too much energy on it.

    My manager recently made a career move, so now he think he is GOD.
    He looks extremely professional with tattoos all over his arm which he never cares to cover.
    It looks ridiculous. I can’t even take him serious.

  3. That’s what baffles me, too. If I gave them ANY reason to doubt me, then I’d understand, but I haven’t… Some people won’t know a good thing if it hits them in the face.

    Egos get in the way A LOT. I have to admit that I have a pretty big one myself, but I use it in good moments, not all day every day.

  4. It sucks when it’s a manager or supervisor because you can never say what you to them without losing your job. It sounds to me like he’s abusing his power and I hate that. I’ve had a lot of crappy managers. There was one I had who who would play favorites and I was not one if her favorites so she would nitpick every little thing I did or make fun of me behind my back to my coworkers. I couldn’t leave because I was making really good money and I had just left my exhusband so I needed the money. I got her in trouble with her manager so she found a way to get me fired.

  5. My worst managers have been some of the most insecure people I have ever met. They’re always overcompensating and trying to find their employees doing wrong instead of leading by example. You could find another job; they can’t find another you. Employers need to realize that. I’m sorry you’re going through that. Clearly it’s bullying.

  6. This is so unfortunate! I has been in similar situations before, particularly in my last job when a colleague falsely accused me of illegal activities and the CEO took away my security token without telling me why. As the same company, I was screamed at because our software was temporarily down and I couldn’t provide the information requested…it didn’t matter that the entire system was down, it was MY fault.

    Hang in there and save all the money you can–I created a “F*ck off Fund” so that I could afford to walk out if I needed to, which was really empowering. I’m now in a job with kind, smart and driven employees…the culture is great! I hope your next position will be a place were you’re respected and appreciated. And, hopefully, you’ll end up there sooner than later.

  7. Certain things that are certain in life.

    There will be a jerk somewhere in the bureaucratic nonsense you have to deal with in life. The corollary is that if you do a good job, you are seen as a threat, especially by the bureaucrats.

    So don’t worry about pleasing them, they can always find something.

    After all, the only person you have ot please i life is God, and that’s done by letting Him help you, as he fixes what is broken in life. 🙂

  8. I have worked under just four managers, and three of them were a pain in the ass. They really were the worst. They were too demanding, and whenever they made a mistake, they would always find a way to put the blame on me. In their eyes, they were faultless.

    This is why I never stayed too long with the firms I’ve worked for. I couldn’t deal with that kind of treatment.

    I’m sorry that your manager is a douchebag (excuse my French). And I understand why you can’t leave now. Those bills won’t settle themselves now, would they?

    I second what Esoterica said: Hang in there, save as much money as possible, then leave. For the sake of your peace of mind.

    Blessings, Andrea. ♥

  9. I’m so sorry to read that you went through this experience – I would be so upset if a manager had written me up or blamed me wrongfully. I hope things look up for you and that your current job situation improves or that you can find another job that will be a better fit. ❤

  10. So sorry that something so sucky happened. These kind of characters don’t change. I’m glad you’re looking for alternate options. It’s not worth it to stick out under such people any longer than necessary. This person sounds like they don’t understand the basics of communication. He should’ve first contacted you if he thought there was an issue with your work. Very strange behaviour! You take care girl.

  11. That is exactly what he is doing! Abusing his power.
    These days anyone can become a manager, especially those who scratch their manager’s back.
    And then they think they’re GOD.

    It sucks right. I can’t leave anywhere, I can just prepare myself for leaving when it really escalates.

  12. Definitely not worrying about them.
    If I leave, I mostly likely would go to their competitor because this is the field I want to work in.
    It’s their loss, more than mine.

  13. It really is bullying. I wish someone would recognize that.
    They always talk so much about being aware. But that’s just bla-bla.
    Thanks for you support Laketra! It means a lot!

  14. Yes! I remember that story!
    It’s really unfair!
    Why do they search for victims!

    Hahah love the name! I definitely have something like that.
    I usually wouldn’t leave without having a new job, but I don’t want to wait until I become really unhappy.

  15. Thank you Obi!

    It’s terrible that we are treated in this way. I just don’t understand why people are so mean.
    I am 28, but this is already my 5th job so I have definitely switched a lot too.
    Unfortunately in every job there is at least one or two assholes.

    I will definitely save enough money for when it becomes really bad!

  16. Thank you!
    It feels really bad. I can’t even look him in the eye without hating him.
    But this is not my last job, so I am sure something better will come up 🙂

  17. Ugh that’s so rude for him to not even apologize to you. You don’t deserve to be bullied & you need to put your foot down about it! Don’t let them bring ya down, babe. ♡

  18. Yes. One of my managers would treat me (and a couple others) like the scum of the earth. My best friend worked with me, and she happened to be my boss’s favorite. She and I did everything together (sufficiently), but come evaluations, I got the lowest score out of everyone. This wasn’t surprising, as over the months my boss would throw my personal items away, passively put out letters for everyone to sign regarding something I had done the day before (ex. I was doing little squats to keep the blood pumping one day at my desk while we were super slow. Not enough to even make me sweat. The next day we got a note we all had to initial saying ‘no exercising at our desks.’ Or when I wrote in a journal during a dead time…another note etc). My best friend quit soon after I became a target of this micro management while she got away with so much. We even purposefully had her break rules to see if she would get in trouble to no avail. Needless to say, the whole staff turned over in less than a year, as the 5 employees under her management left or transferred. You would think that would be a red flag, but rumor has it she’s still micro managing.

  19. I completely agree with your advise, not everyone wants to hear that. I believe in picking each other up when we are down, but also being straight forward and truthful even if it is unwelcome. I’ve managed people for more than 20 years, and never had to resort to anything but honestly.

  20. I’m so late to read this 😦
    I’ve been a bit MIA on WordPress Reader but was wondering what you’ve been up to
    I’m so sorry to hear this! This is why the people you work with are really up there in the most important things in a job… that was really inappropriate behavior and I don’t know why there are such power plays and toxic behavior in the workplace like that…
    I hope you are doing better now or at a different, better place!

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