Friendship

Having friends as a child was easy.
You don’t know the true meaning of friendship, but you’re more than happy to spend time with your classmates or neighbourhood kids.

Then, in the teenage years, it becomes more difficult.
It’s almost like you have to be approved to be someone’s friend.
If you are not a certain type of “cool”, you wouldn’t fit in.

But none of that compares to find a friend in adulthood.
You might get on well with your colleagues or people you meet at the gym.
But at the end of the day, you wave goodbye and everyone seperates to their own life.

Jasper and I have come to Denmark with a realistic view.
Most likely we wouldn’t find people to spend time with after work.
Let alone, calling someone a friend.

In more than one way, we were fine with that.
It offers a lot of freedom, which, fair enough,  sometimes turns into boredom.
It offers a better financial situation, which, fair enough, sometimes makes you wonder why you actually have a job if you don’t spend the money.
It offers more time on the couch watching Netflix, which, fair enough, doesn’t create many memorable moments.

But the largest benefit of nothing having a social life might be that you don’t have to say goodbye to anyone.

In my recent post About letting go, I speak about colleagues visiting from Brazil and Spain for a month.
I say that in a way, I wish I never have got close to them.
But somehow, I did.

Never in a million years I could have imagined that the dark month of January would be filled laughter, good talks, dinners and red wines after work.
Never in a million years I would have thought we would meet people in a foreign country to call friends.

But now that day has come.
Time to say goodbye.
After our goodbye dinner, they will be leaving to their home country.
Of course we will stay in touch, but we all know that will fade away at one point.

As I always say “Out of sight, out of mind. But not out of heart”.
When I walk by that restaurant, I will remember the good talks.
When I walk by that pub, I will remember the laughter.
When I look at the pictures, I will remember the good times.

And surely, in 20 years, I will remember this surprisingly awesome cold month of January 2019.

Thanks guys, it was a pleasure!

14 thoughts on “Friendship

  1. It’s good you had a good time. It makes for nice memories. After all, that is what life is – a strong of memories. Either already lived, or to be made.

    What does that street sign behind you say?

    Were you the only girl on the team?

    Oh, and I liked the paragraph in which you talk about the good things, but also the drawbacks. Witty and true.

  2. I’ve always struggled to maintain friendships and it took me a while to realize that it’s a two-way street and I can’t expect my friends to always make the call or make the plans. I lost a lot of friends because of that shit mentality and habit and I’m pushing myself very hard to start establishing better habits in maintaining the relationships I have in my life.

    Since moving overseas, I’m hoping this would push me out of my comfort zone and learn how to make friends as an adult. It’s tough when a lot of adults usually have an established group of friends already but I guess it’s worth the effort when you find someone that welcomes you into their circle of friends!

  3. 30 km/h is the speed limit, I think πŸ˜‰
    The picture is taken right before their hotel and right after our apartment. So it’s litteraly a 50 meter walk from each other!

    Yeah, the only girl indeed. Because imagine another girl doing something technical related! *eyeroll*,
    My rule is, I can be the only girl as long as Jasper is present (which of course he always was).
    But this is not always easy to maintain.
    It’s not like he doesn’t trust me or I don’t trust myself. I just find it odd.

    Thanks Goldie! That paragraph is very true.
    I must say, the bank account is dissapointing after this month.
    Let me inform you about the prices, only glass of wine is minimum of 6 euro’s in a pub.
    10 euro’s in a restaurant.
    Luckily I need only a sip to gets me in a happier mood πŸ˜‰

  4. I completely agree. Maintaining friendship is difficult.
    But it’s also about expectations. I have lowered them.
    I don’t expect people to be there for me whenever I need it, only if it suits them.
    And quite honestly, financials also play a big part in that.
    I used to pay for ever single drink or dinner because they didn’t have a job.
    That didn’t work out so well once I confronted them.

    I really don’t know the secret to make friends as an adult!
    Like you said, for most people it’s already established!

    Do you ever try to talk to random strangers sometimes?

  5. I’m glad you had a good time! I agree though, friendship changes so much as you age. I used to be so desperate for friendship and that human connection but I’ve been burned so many times I just keep people at a distance unless they’ve really proven themselves. I just try to stay friendly towards people and if it grows into something then that’s that. If not, oh well. It’s better than pouring too much time into something that will never go anywhere.

  6. I completely get what you mean. I am pretty selective when it comes to letting people into my life.
    If someone can’t understand that a friend can never be number one on my list of priorities, it wouldn’t work.
    As harsh as that sounds!

  7. Oh, now I can see the number 30. The end of speed limit. But I’ve never seen a speed limit sign so close to the ground. Weird.

    It’s so cool that you live so close.

    I can understand that you might feel uncomfortable without Jasper. You don’t want to give the wrong impression, maybe?

  8. Denmark is a little odd πŸ˜‰

    That’s why I want that freaking ring around my finger. It was no problem with these guys. Two are married and the other has been together with the girlfriend for a long time and they have child together.
    But sometimes, a ring could come in very very very handy and I could avoid annoying situations.

  9. Aw. I love that quote “out of sight, out of mind but, not out of heart.” β™‘ Perfect words to sum up your time with these lovely people. πŸ™‚

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