Do you prefer to spend time with the same or different gender?

“You’re one of those women, aren’t you?”, some one told me once, “A woman who doesn’t like women”.
I grinned.
Although not necessarily true, I do see where that is coming from.

Even though I grew up in a female dominated household, I always got along with my dad the best.
From a young age he showed me how to play chess, which resulted into me winning some tournaments.
We watched The Karate Kid together, which resulted in me in getting the brown belt in karate 5 years later.
He taught me math and physics, which resulted in me studying engineering.

It might differ in other countries, but where I grew up, I would usually be the only girl when practicing these hobbies.
Naturally I hung out with men more than women.

The largest benefit?
I had no opportunity to compare myself with others, appearance wise.
Maybe not for the fair reasons, but I was always the prettiest girl in the group.
And honestly, that didn’t make me feel bad 😉

In high school I was mainly bullied because of my looks.
And all the bullying was by girls.
Other than my mum, I didn’t think women could ever be nice.

The largest disadvantage ?
I never really felt comfortable with my femininity.
I knew the boys in my class never understood what it was to have cramps for 5 days straight, so I never saw the whole point of even having my period.
Internally I criticized other girls for wearing make up,  high heels and hand bags or their wish to quit a job and become a mother.

I have now come to a point where people in general annoy me 😉

Yet if I had to choose, I’d  stay in my comfort zone and prefer men over women.

Stepping out of that comfort zone would give me a lot insecurities
But I really would love to spend time with women and learn how to embrace the female qualities.

Do you prefer to be in an environment with the same or opposite gender? And why?

25 thoughts on “Do you prefer to spend time with the same or different gender?

  1. Everyone have their own reasons as you had too. For me I love to stay in healthy enviorment, where their are no gossips but healthy discussions from where you learn somethimg new. Whch ever gender is it I don’t mind till my wave length is matching. The day I see I am not comfortable I make my distance.

  2. For the most part… Men are less dramatic but women are more compassionate so they each have their good and bad sides. I try to spend time with people who are good, no matter the gender. I also have become more reserved over the years.

  3. I have always preferred the company of girls/women, maybe it’s because there is no testosterone competition. But as you say they weren’t always particularly nice to their own. The conversation was usually better, but that was probably the environment I grew up in (Bradford council estate) where most of the lads/men were, to be frank, ***holes and treated women as second class citizens and their own prowess was how much beer they could drink 😂

  4. For most of my life, friendships with women came easier than with men–though I did managed to make a couple of life long male friends and those female friends are long gone.

  5. My social circle is small – but throughout life I spent most of my time with women – childhood home, 13 years in a convent – now a handful of women friends. Mostly enjoy hanging out with my husband and children (2 boys, 1 girl). Interesting post.

  6. I’d say the same. But sometimes women can really surprise me with that. One of my female collegues turned out to be one like that. So much that it made me uncomfortable! 🙀

  7. Interesting that women prefer male company and man female company.
    I think the male body anyhow needs/can handle more food and drinks, so men should consider the proportion too 😉

  8. I have a pronounced preference for female friends. No question. Like charliecountryboy above I grew up in an environment where most men were a-holes. I neither like nor trust men as a rule.

  9. I like mixed company best. If I’m with all guys, they usually want to talk sports and not the sports I like (Harness Racing, Minor League Baseball, and Roller Derby). If I’m with all women they usually want to talk about family members, babies, shopping, or something else I don’t find very interesting. In mixed company the conversation varies and variety is the spice of life.

  10. I grew up in a very dysfunctional family and was treated more like a male than female until my baby brother came along. My parents DESPERATELY wanted a boy. I was the first girl of 3, so I got the male name, dressed like a boy until about 8 (when my brother was old enough to toddle after my dad) and was treated like one, too. In the process of being rejected, it caused me to try even harder for attention.
    All that to say, I have always felt way more comfortable around men-I even worked in more traditional male jobs like construction, etc.
    Funny story, I was Robbie, my Dad and brother were called Bobby, so if someone called or referred to one of us, we all three responded!!
    Interesting, thought-provoking blog!

  11. These days I love mixed company! But then, dancing (ballroom) is my greatest hobby and love – so both sexes are usually the case… I find the men attending the dances have ‘matured’ to the degree that they enjoy (without any mucho testosterone) the company of women, and have a natural gentleness born of years creating a personality that welcomes good character… The women also are generally more gentle, unassuming and enjoy a good chat. This makes for good fun for all… 🙂

  12. I love your honesty on the topic.. and I understand where you’re coming from. I also grew up in a female dominated household. And I only really got to change my perspective in the world as I grew up.

    Now, I get to spend time with both genders in different settings, an example is, I’m with guys when I’m at the gym and then I get to spend quality time with my best ladies when we’re all free and I find that it’s always different energies and different dynamics between me and who I’m with. So the feminine side of me, loves spending time with girls and the masculine energy in me loves the energy that the guys share with me when we’re all lifting weights etc and also I learn different things from both genders:) so I love both equally:)

  13. Thank you!

    I think a variety of genders is important. And indeed, somethings are best to do with guys, for others you’ll need a female friend. 🙂

  14. Girls can be mean. Especially in school. But women are wonderful. I think if you meet women now, you’d find a lot of difference. 🙂 I personally have an equal number of male to female friends and I like it like this.

  15. I agree! There is a lot of difference between girls and women supporting each other. And this is not defined in age (!!) but behaviour.
    I met younger females who are more “women” than 40 year olds who don’t know how to behave 😉

  16. I used to like spending more time with the opposite gender, in fact, i had more guy friends than girl friends because they were easier to straight forward with.

    But I feel, as time passes, I have warmed up to my own gender, started becoming more supportive of women than critical of them. If we support and uplift each other regardless of gender that’s more important, don’t you think?

  17. I feel safer around people of the same gender as me (women), but it’s very unconventional for me because I never known what it means to have a group of girlfriends or a group of tight knit gal pals I can count on. If anything, I am lucky if I find one female friend who I can connect with lol. As for the opposite gender… I’m not as comfortable around men. It honestly depends on the person, really. If the man is nothing but friendly and I can tell it’s just going to be a platonic thing and he doesn’t want anything more from me, I feel relieved. Even better if I know he is in a relationship or married because then I don’t have to think about the possibility of “what-if”. It’s not that I have an inflated ego thinking every guy who befriends me or wants to get to know me is going to try to test the waters with me, it’s that I’m too hyperaware of the female-male friendship dynamic. I do believe the opposite genders can be friends without anything going on. It has bothered me in the past when I had a male friend who I considered myself close to. Nothing remotely romantic was happening and neither of us were leaning that way towards each other, yet another friend of mine (a woman) teased me about him possibly having a crush on me even though my friendship with the guy was nowhere near like that.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s