Some insights about Communication

I always considered myself an introvert without knowing what it ACTUALLY means.
I just know that I am not loud, I hate being in the center of attention and I avoid large groups.

“But still you are choosing a career as an Instructor?”, a colleague  asked me.

Funnily enough, I do.
I am definitely up for making a training more fun and interactive.
Especially if it takes a few days, I want to maintain a closer relationship with the students.
But essentially, what they come for is to hear facts.
And facts are exactly my comfort zone.

I asked that colleague (who is definitely an introvert) how she felt about sitting in the canteen during lunch.
“The other day someone brought a box of chocolates”, she tells, “and honestly, not only during lunch, but the entire day they talked about the different types of chocolates. It was  such a waste of time.”

I laughed when she rolled her eyes. I am with her.
Today, after some time, I somehow dragged myself to the canteen.
I think they simply continued where they left of those few months back.
Always the same, boring topics.

Just now I asked Jasper if he feels more comfortable in a group of people or one or two more.
Surprisingly he answered with “Definitely a larger group”.

“When there are more people, there is less opportunity to pay attention to me”, he explained, “so I can eat my steak in peace and quiet”.

He is a wise human πŸ˜‰

Do you prefer to be in a large group?
What are your favorite topics to talk about during lunch?

36 thoughts on “Some insights about Communication

  1. I eat my lunch AWAY from my coworkers. The small talk is a drain. I’d rather just not. πŸ™‰

  2. Haha WordPress works in mysterious ways!
    But I totally feel you! I haven’t done it for a while and of course people talk behind my back πŸ™„

  3. I am rather introverted, but because of my job (ESL teacher) that is a hard sell. Actually, maybe I am not introverted—but I am shy (they are definitely different things).
    I like a large group because I can break off and join the smaller ones.

  4. I’m an introvert too & sometimes I’m not comfortable with large groups. Many times their conversations topics are uninteresting to me.

    But yeah , I’m trying to open up when I’m in large groups.

  5. Ah yeah, shy is another one of those.
    It is true, larger groups break off in smaller ones. But I hate when I hear 5 conversations around me. It’s hard to focus!

  6. I know right!
    I wish topics could be like on blogging platform rather than which type of socks someone wears. That is no way near intelligent! πŸ˜‰

  7. Just like you , I am not very loud either. I am an introverted-extrovert actually. I can be extroverted when needed, but mostly I prefer like 2-3 people max at lunchtime. Because, if it is a larger group, the conversations remain superficial and I lose interest.

    When I am with only 1-2 people, I feel we connect better and can have meaningful intellectual conversations. πŸ™‚

  8. Occasionally, a great speaker is able to command the attention of a larger group. Or sometimes, the group can give way to individual voices.
    It is a fantastic phenomenon to witness, though we don’t often realize it until it is over–or in my case, someone points out to me that I was able to keep everyone interested.

  9. I think that’s what I might be as well!
    When I spend with just 1-2 more, I actually might be the one that talks to most.
    I can’t remember having an awkward silence ever!

  10. I’m a very reserved person. I’m not shy, though. I don’t do too well with large groups so I’m almost always solo. Even during lunch, I prefer to have my own corner to do my thing.

    I’ve tried mingling with people many times in the past but couldn’t. I was always TOO different for them to understand me.

    Hoping I relate more with people in the future.

  11. I think I’ve told you that before – that I actually like groups (like Jasper), because then I just get “lost”. Less attention is paid to me and I can just be with my own thoughts (i.e. listening and making my own assumptions).

    But I am also like you – I enjoy public speaking, mentoring, etc.

    Ultimately it comes down to small talk vs. something I WANT to talk about, more than how many people are involved.

  12. Yes, smaller groups work better for me too. A couple of like minded people versus a large number of people of diverse tastes? I would pick the smaller group any time.

  13. Thanks for following me Andrea, you’re my first! (Not sure how prolific a blogger I’ll be though.) I’m certainly just a one to one person rather than trying to mix it in a group, (literally when I was in a music duo that grew into a 7 piece band) I pick my son up from school and only ever stand and chat with one person at a time in the playground, even three’s a crowd. I think its that I’d rather have someones full attention and for me to give them mine, but we mustn’t get too snooty about our noisy extrovert opposites, or opposites in general.

  14. Yes! I exactly feel like that. Too different.
    And unfortunately others see me as the odd one out.
    It is really hard to blend in.

  15. Yeah, seems like you and Jasper are similar in this perspective.
    For me unfortunately it doesn’t work this way and I get VERY annoyed about the low level intelligent things they are talking about.
    I hate to say this, but most my colleagues didn’t finish a very high education, so I simply cannot really relate to them.

    Have you always like public speaking?
    Like back in school doing a presentation? Or is something you have learned along the way?

  16. Welcome to the blogging world! Looking forward to see many posts from you πŸ™‚

    That is one thing I would be never looking forward to, picking my kid from school and having to blend in with the other parents who are just gossiping about one another or bragging that their child might one cm taller. UGH.

    That is true though! We need both in this world πŸ˜€

  17. Oh! How nice!
    I have always been into theater and film writing. But unfortunately haven’t done anything with it lately.

    I used to hate presentations until I had to do training at my first job.
    So I’m certainly not a natural but grew into liking it.

  18. I only like talking to one or two people at a time. If more people join the conversation, you will see me step out. I’m kind of the opposite though; I feel large groups always talk over each other & people will only actually listen to me if there’s only 2 or 3 of us & I can only pay attention to so many people at a time, too!

  19. I prefer a smaller group (like 2-3 people) because it feels easier to keep up with the conversation. When it’s a larger group, I often get lost in the back and forth of everything. I tend to lapse into silence and eat my food lol. What’s hard being in a large group is when people gravitate towards a topic I don’t relate to at all (like their children, their spouses/significant others) and then I feel like I have nothing to add to the conversation. :/

  20. I’m like you as well.
    When I hear people talking, I most likely will have an opinion. But I will never ever say or don’t even get the chance to because there are so many voices. I can’t even focus on what I am trying to say haha.

  21. Yeah, it’s hard to focus when 10 people are talking!
    The lunch break is supposed to be there to relax you, but actually it has the opposite effect on me when I have to be there with my colleagues.
    It stresses me out so much!

  22. I’m an introvert depending on my environment. For instance, if I’m around people with high ranking positions I tend to be quiet. When I’m around those with more humble positions (janitors, assistants, etc.) my true personality comes forward. I think I’m just more comfortable around those with a humble disposition. However, I try to avoid the lunch/break room at all costs but I’m not opposed to eating with those I trust (which is only a few coworkers). When we do get together we talk a lot about politics and other works affairs. We ultimately end up talking about God and the Bible at some point as well.

  23. I do not like being in large groups. It’s not that they make me uncomfortable they are just exhausting because there are too many people talking at once, or talking to me, and there’s just too much going on at once for me to keep up with. If I ever go to lunch with anyone it’s my friend Michael and we always talk about politics, religion or movies. lol

  24. To me 1-3 friends is more than enough! I enjoy one on one the most because then everyone should be getting the same amount of speaking time!
    I enjoy listening, but if I can’t say my own opinion, I will be frustrated for sure! πŸ˜‰

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