Lucky or hard work?

I have always considered myself a bit unlucky.
My body is covered with scars due little accidents.
Missing my bus. Flat tire.
Colleagues who bully I had at some of my jobs.

Yet, many people told me I am very lucky person.
But sometimes I wonder, is it really luck?
Or could it be that I just made thoughtful decisions?
Or I just worked very hard?

img_5247

Let’s review!
Here are some of the things people are calling me lucky for:

Financial Status

I see the way people look at me when I mention what my vacation will look like or when I buy a 50 euro sweater.
But remember the time we were all students?
You guys were out there, partying, spending money on alcohol, waking up with a hangover.
I spent Saturdays watching “the Cosby Show” with my parents who would then ask “What did you learn from this episode?”.
Sunday mornings were for studying.

And guess what? It pays off.
I never failed a year. Never had any student debts either.

And yes, I don’t accept just any salary.
It’s called negotiation.

Jobs

I have not been without a job so far.
There have been times that I felt I could be fired, but I took preventive measures.

“It’s so easy for you to have a job. You’re young, you have some years of experience AND you’re a woman with an engineering background”, I hear people say.

Not only this is not true.
I have send out 200 applications before being accepted for one job.
But also, you were mostly welcome at engineering school!
I liked math and psychics, but honestly, I took a lot hours studying to make it through.

Not being touched inappropriately by a man

I feel the deepest empathy for women who have gone through such a horrible experience, but I am extremely annoyed by some of the #METOO movement statements:

  • All women have experienced something like this
  • Men need to behave

True. I have experienced it.
BUT, it was not with a men (as I explain in My opinion about #METOO).
So that also disqualifies the second point.

When I have expressed my feelings about it, there were always two reasons I got from others women:

  • Well, you might just not be that attractive. I mean, your clothing style is very conservative.
  • Well, you’re very lucky

I am not even going to START explaining everything wrong about the first reason, but what about lucky?

Remember how I spent my Saturday evenings?
Pretty much these days the same.
There was a phase in my life where I enjoyed going out each weekend, but I would never take alcohol or end up going home with “some guy”.
I also had a group of friends where the agreement  was to never leave each other’s side.

Now I am not saying that this couldn’t happen any place randomly, but I do believe there are certain things you can do to protect yourself.
And that does not entail clothing which barely covers your butt area.

What are some of the things you have been called Lucky for, but you are not sure if it’s pure luck?

20 thoughts on “Lucky or hard work?

  1. Always enjoying your texts, Andrea!
    About luck. Maybe, you have heard this already, but I say it here. I’ve seen it recently and find it very describing :)) “Success is like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you, but no one knows how many times you’ve screwed”.
    And as another guy (supposedly Edison) said: “I work and I get lucky”. And the more you work, the more chance for luck there is.

  2. Regarding the #MeToo prevention comment – you said you mostly stay in, which means you feel threatened. It shouldn’t be like this. Men should intimidate you like that. You should be able to go outside whenever you want, wherever you want, and in any clothes (no clothes?) if you’d like.
    Ok, I think you know this was sarcasm. But it’s something I could totally imagine people say.

    I never considered myself lucky, because I know what I’ve been through. Selectively, I do say that someone was lucky in something, but I don’t overuse it, because I know there might be circumstances which I’m unaware about. I mainly use it when playing a game against someone and I lose. Hahah.

  3. Thank you!

    Hahah, so true, both quotes!
    I think you have to be really careful with calling someone lucky, because we don’t how much work it took.

    I am reading up on someone successful people who have failed many times (Jay Z, Walk Disney, Oprah, Ford, Gates). Interesting!

  4. Hey Andrea!

    One of my close friends calls me lucky for having parents that pay my tuition fees and take me to pretty amazing places.

    In this respect, I do believe I’ve been lucky.

    However, I do think that luck is a very misused term. Many people mistake people to have become ‘lucky’ when in reality they have worked really hard.

    Sure, luck may always be a contributing factor, but luck just simply doesnt happen randomly. Luck comes from putting yourself in the right spot. 🙂

  5. Well in that case, schools in Holland practically don’t cost anything. You’d get some money from the government and that should cover.
    (I do think they have changed the system now, but it used to be like that 😉 )

    So I guess I could consider myself lucky too.

    But as you said, luck without work won’t get you anywhere.
    And if you happen to be lucky and don’t act on that “head start”, it would have been better if someone else got your luck. Someone who does want to work for it.

    So yes, completely agree with you 🙂

  6. Oh no, I don’t feel threatened at all. In fact, I have brown belt karate 😉
    I’m just old and tired and need my sleep.

    But I cannot agree with your statement about clothes.
    I HATE when people dress inappropriately.
    And I wish there was a law for it. If I’d be president, there certainly would be one. 😉

  7. I was touched inappropriately by a man in my own house, unprovoked. A worker who was installing my floors. Maybe I will blog about it, sometime. It is a scary experience, I tell you.

  8. So I wrote a post a while ago on the topic of luck.

    https://passionforlotion.wordpress.com/2018/04/20/growth-whats-luck/

    I don’t believe in luck. I believe in hard (read smart) work which results in improving your chances of happening upon good opportunities, which then, taken at the right time, becomes luck.

    I would have to disagree with you on the way women or anyone for that matter. I dress conservatively, but that’s my choice. I think everyone should be able to dress however they wish. With the metoo movement, men should be able to have more self control and respect for women.

  9. I will read it 🙂

    Some people are more fortunate. Based on countries opportunities.
    I read a lot blogs from US bloggers. If I see how much education costs there, I think here in Europe we are lucky!

    Haha, I don’t think many people agree with me about the clothing style.
    Yet those are the people that do complain about music videos. These artists are the influencers of youngsters.
    I can’t see how this is correct behavior.
    Walking down the street, putting it on social media.
    And then the employer sees it.
    Your parents see it.
    I’d be disappointed and scared if one I have a daughter and she’s going act like that.

    I think it’s so wrong to blame men.
    Yes, there are a few psycho’s but they can be female too.
    Females need to start behaving respectfully for once.
    Other men do have respect and self control.

  10. Sure, would love to know your thoughts on the post.

    I will partially agree with some people being lucky, which I also wrote a bit about in my post. In US the cost of college education is high, but with smart/hard work, people can also get scholarships, which I did and also graduated with almost no debt. I wouldn’t call it luck because I worked day/night to get the grades etc needed to get and maintain scholarships.

    Yes, I didn’t mean the celebrities, they just do what they want and they influence ppl but it depends on us on how much we want to be influenced. Also, i agree both men and women need to be respectful.

  11. I’ve read recently that it is due to our fundamental attribution error. When someone succeeds we call him lucky, but when we succeed we call it “hard work”. And vice versa. When we fail we call it “bad luck”, when others do it’s their own fault :))) Aren’t we humans amazing?? :)))

  12. Oh I’ve heard a lot of times about me getting accepted into med school all part of luck because it’s usually a right royal pain in the butt to get in here in India. I’m lucky because I’ve got barely average looks that I honestly can’t seem to love enough which compared to the people saying is it not all that great because of the spots and scars and marks. I’ve been called ‘lucky’ to be able to have a relationship here and manage to get out of first year at the same time.
    None of that means that I’ve worked hard. For everyone that says these, it’s all about luck. Sure I’d like to believe my luck played a significant part of it but did it do everything? I’d like to think not

  13. Good post, but as one who has joined in the metoo movement, after have to add something I feel.

    Years ago, in marriage I have been raped. Before that, it was little things he said that I realise was mental abuse. But when I was raped, that was last straw.

    When I joined in the metoo tag last year, I was at a very raw moment. While dealing with a double-dealing in the family, I discovered something horrifying while googling. (Not family related.) A man who I went out with for 6 years, but I split up with some years ago because he couldn’t commit, I learnt he was jailed. Jailed for four years and six month for abuse of a girl when she was 6.
    This girl who was 6 at the time of the events came forward at 18. I knew that girl and when I read when it happened, meant this horrid time for her was when I knew him. He probably already had done this before I went out with him. But it doesn’t make a difference, he abused and for someone who never shown his sick needs, supported me when I had a flashback of my rape from marriage and so he seen how that affected me, yet he did that to a girl.
    Discovering what he did, brought back huge triggers for me and I wonder what I was actually to him.
    I will never go out with another man again. And no. Please no one say anything about this choice of not going out with a man again. Not when no one has seen how I have been first.

    I have a very supportive male friend and that’s what he will always be. I am happy to live on my own.

    For anyone that chooses to read my blog about difficult times and this, will understand just why I react as I do.

    The man who abused that child, is not allowed back in the area when time comes to release. I hope I never bump into him.

  14. I am so sorry to hear this Liz!
    I can only imagine the trauma you’re going through.

    The only point I’ve ever wanted to make is that men are not worse than women. My experience with women were not so great. Both with mental abuse and innappropriate touching.

  15. I have not had the problem myself with women, but I do agree not all men are bad and that women can be bad as men. But my experience and time wasted with the last man I went with, I’m done. I am doing what I want, when I want. Only have myself to fall out, living on my own.

  16. An old memory just popped up. I remember one time defending a bloke in a factory. It had been somewhere under the two year mark of leaving the marriage one, when I started to work here.
    There were only two women factory worker, the rest were makes, except for two secretary’s in the office.
    Out of me and this other woman and n factory floor, I had been there the longest. She had only been there a couple of months when she decided to put in for sexual harrastment against this man. I did not know until we were working together, (the man who was being accused of sexual harrastment). When he told me, I gummed and wanted to defend him. I had trained him up. A bloody good worker and because of how at the time I could be uncomfortable around men, but never ever around him, that I was ready for defending. Before I did, I did check with him that he was happy for me to get involved.
    The next day, armed with my statement in defence for him, I knocked on the bosses office door and asked if I could have a word.
    I told him what I heard and that what I have written is a statement of defense for the man being accused of sexual harrastment.
    I had to be there while he read it. My statement was nearly two pages long on A4 size paper. He accepted that statement and we chatted further. I then revealed to boss of my former abuse and how easily I can be uncomfortable around some blokes, but at no time have I ever felt threatened by this man, admitting we have mucked about while working and never has he done anything inappropriate.

    Now the job that I did at the time and where the woman who made accusation was working, we were packing bathroom products. Because of the nature of the job and for safety, you are best to wear at least jeans and T-shirt on a summer’s day. To be covered so you don’t easily stratch yourself. Now she was wearing stappy tops. I wore t-shirts.
    Prior to accusation starting, I had observed how she was flirting with the blokes around her at times to say she had a boyfriend and he was in the next section of the factory.

    Thankfully, nothing come about and in the case of the person being accused, he was just told to be careful how he worked. I don’t know about her, but wasn’t long after before she left.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s