Smoker’s interaction (rescheduled post 09/2017)

Both my parents used to smoke for different reasons.
My dad just wanted to be part of the cool kids.
My mum started smoking when she started working. Smoking breaks were not deducted from the 8 hour working day, so anything for a few extra breaks.

When I started high school, smart phones were not a thing yet.
The easiest way to interact with people seemed like by smoking.
I used to practice a lot on how to start a conversation with someone.
How easy is that if you just go up to someone and askย “Can I borrow your lighter?”.
Somehow the smoking community is very supporting of each other and friendships are easier made.

I guess that might have been the reason why so many of my classmates started smoking.

 

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I just watched the episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S where Rachel started smoking to interact more with her boss.
Of course this were the 90’s and a lot has changed on the smoking policy and mentality (for the better).

But I remember that day my manager told me I should interact more and just join the “Friday afternoon beer” with the colleagues so I would get to know all ins & outs as well.
“You should see it as work”,ย he mentioned.
(Ok, if it’s work, you might want to pay me over hours????)

Isn’t it basically the same?
There is no harm in one beer, but I’m not going to drink with colleagues on a Friday afternoon.

This apparently is how communication works.
In a way, I think I could have improved a lot if I would have been a smoker/drinker, but does this count more than morals?

What do you guys think?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

29 thoughts on “Smoker’s interaction (rescheduled post 09/2017)

  1. Methinks, ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”the assertion for this has the reason, here that is not befitting for better and over all productiveness or efficacy , for eg interaction, interaction should come out of, feasibility not on accord of external driving force. For eg cigarettes or liquor, it’s intoxicating, anything of intoxicating is bad, simple it’s affect physiology of brain adversely and produce ill effects that causes regrets etc, etc. ๐Ÿ‘โ˜บ๏ธ.

  2. I smoked for a short time when I was 18 because that was what everyone else around me was doing. I wanted to fit in. Then I realized it was just a dumb reason to smoke so I quit. I don’t drink because I’m allergic but I have found that people are kinder to you if you indulge in their type of “sin”. I use sin for lack of a better word.

  3. I am glad you say this, because I was afraid people would tell me to never drink or smoke no matter what. “You shouldn’t care what others think of you”.
    Well, loneliness can destroy you the same.

    But personally have never done any of the two. But I’m sure if I had, my social life would have been better.

  4. It’s pretty crazy to me that it’s so socially acceptable to destroy your body like that, ya know? Like, “oh look at me, I’m so cool sacrificing my lungs and liver like this.” ๐Ÿ˜‚

  5. I was always the rebel as a kid. By that, I mean that I rebelled against my friends who insisted on smoking and drinking when they were under the legal age.

    When I was in Uni, I realize that I had the “freedom” to smoke. My parents wouldn’t be able to smell it on me (because I lived away), and I could legally buy it for myself, instead of begging others. By no means did I smoke regularly, but it seemed that the people I was hanging around would all be smoking, so I could either keep up with them, or not, so I chose to smoke every now and again. But that wasn’t my scene, so I ended up smoking by myself in the evenings to relax. It became something I enjoyed by myself. In the quiet. This didn’t last long. And I don’t smoke at all now.

  6. There is something about smoking in the quiet by yourself. It has some sort of sophistication.
    But of course, it’s better not to do it.

    I once smoked to impress a guy I liked who smoked.
    How hard could it be?
    I was coughing up a lung and made a huge fool of myself.
    Silly isn’t it.

    I am not a smoker and I drink only occasions. But I only like drinking on an empty stomach.

  7. I don’t like the social implications that comes with…. fostering better communication or workplace camaraderie or whatever. Very much like happy hour. Why are employees pressured into it? I understand the desire to belong in a smoking group or release stress through smoking, but are there really no better alternatives? So many people just hover by the doors every single day all day so I have to hold my breath going in and out. And they have this vibe of superiority or coolness in these tight-knit cliques and I’m just like… I don’t know… I find the whole thing lame. Also, it’s unfair that they get that much time off for smoking breaks while people who don’t smoke have to just suck it up? What?! I would start a non-smoking group for non-smoking breaks to lounge out and be like “Hey! This is our turf! Don’t you see the sign? No smoking here!” so people can also have breaks without polluting their lungs. I legit think some people spend an entire hour of a work day outside smoking.

  8. Drinking on an empty stomach? That’s not the best of ideas, but I noticed that if I was to drink more than a single drink, I don’t eat much, either. It doesn’t make me feel good.

  9. Well, not completely empty. I don’t drink when I wake up ๐Ÿ˜‰
    I just don’t like drinking during dinner. I want to enjoy one of the two fully

  10. Smoking and drinking, yes please, but not to fit in or get along. The same is true of women drinking wine today or everyone smoking weed. Both are viewed as cool now and highly encouraged. Funny as we have been down this road before. Oh well, I guess peer pressure is a son of a gun. To each their own.

  11. Ah this is especially true for my job. Drinking with my co-workers before starting our job is a crucial way to make friends but I just don’t always want to! In HS, my friends were all smokers & that’s what we’d do when we hung out. It is crazy that smoking & drinking are really the top easiest ways to communicate with others & build relationships.

  12. Hi Andrea, This post resonates with me a lot. Iโ€™m also very particular about how I invest my time and whom I invest it on. I know after work happy hours and work outings can improve relationships but for those that are most like themselves. Sometimes, I feel people already judge you for being or looking different. I like to be in company of people that are open minded and accepting of differences.

    I invest my time with only those coworkers that there is a genuine and mutual interest and understanding. I also skip some of those โ€˜extraโ€™ outings. I feel I would rather take the time to come home and relax.
    Also, ya, if it is a work obligation and it is after work hours, I also expect to be compensated for it!

  13. I started trying cigarettes when i was 14. by 15, i was a smoker, smoking between six to eight cigarettes a day. by 17, i was going on a pack a day, or 15 cigarettes, depending on the mood. I can’t remember what made me try a smoke, i can’t even remember which was the first. but i do remember the first time i inhaled. Anyway, at 22 i quit, and i’ve never looked back. ok, i’ve looked back plenty, but i never picked one again. And yes, i lost a few friends when i quit,but i’d say our interests changed too,so i can’t blame them. I no longer joined them for a smoke outside or a late night for a coffee and a smoke. I actually couldn’t at first, i was afraid to give in and soon they stopped inviting me. so i guess yes, smoke does create bonds, but that’s all it is, a bond between smokers.

  14. I can see how it’s easy to give into that peer pressure of smoking or drinking in order to be able to get along with others more easily. It depends on what the person is comfortable doing. I have never smoked before and it doesn’t interest me in the least to try it once before I die. I especially hate it when smokers exhale their cigarettes while walking in front of me on the street. Thanks for increasing my chances of second-hand smoke cancer…

    As for drinking, I have not yet been in a work situation where people invite me for drinks and insist I join them. I do think it’s linked to work culture. But it will never be my thing.

  15. I have never smoked, but once! My dad died with Emphysema. It wasn’t pretty. I drank socially until I realized bowing to the Grecian Urn (aka toilet bowl) is not fun. I think maybe just socializing with coworkers after hours, is enough. You can drink non-alcohol and still get to know them.

  16. “Hey, you got a light?” or “Hey, can I bum a cigarette?” can be ice breakers…for teens & adults. And, I understand the “cute boy” situation. The very first cigarette I ever took a drag off of…came from a boy that was a year older. “You ever smoked a cigarette before?” I couldn’t even speak. I was 14 & he pulled a lit Marlboro light from his lips…then proceeded to put it in my mouth. Wanting to be cool, I drew a strong puff…and proceeded to gag. He smiled at me with a twinkle in his eyes & took the cigarette back. He was also the same one that talked me into my first bong hit, too. Yes, he was that cute.

    I smoked on and off for 20 years. I finally gave up. My smoking habit was more boredom & social smoking than an addiction. I still don’t know what a “nicotine fit” is. I drank a lot of alcohol on my late teens to fit in. I drink very little now. The pot thing lasted an even shorter time. The one bong hit & three joints was it…also in my late teens. All my friends would get high & eat everything that wasn’t nailed down. I always wanted to hide in a closet & wait to feel normal, again. I just don’t have an addictive body chemistry, I suppose…despite peer pressure.

  17. Good for you that you quit! It must have been hard. My parents did eventually too when they got me ๐Ÿ˜‰

    I also once tried to impress a guy by smoking. I made a fool out of myself haha.

    I never did smoking or much drinking, but I guess in a way it could have made things easier.
    But now that I earn money I can at least by some classy, good tasting wine ๐Ÿ˜‰

  18. As for drinking with colleagues, I always hope that it’s in a place where people have to take their cars. Most likely they would drink only one glass or none. (hopefully!)

    Smoking used to be presented in movies a lot too, so I guess it also looks cool.
    Have you seen any recent movie where people smoke?

  19. Luckily the amounts of smokers is decreasing.
    Looking at my own workplace, nobody smokes. But I guess during smoking breaks you could get to know your colleagues better and probably there would be some gossiping.

    Is it worth your health?
    Probably not. But what even is healthy these days. Certainly not the fruits and vegetables which are no where near fresh.

    Is it worth the money?
    Certainly not ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Glad do see you have quit though! ๐Ÿ™‚

  20. You’d think that reasonable drinking and not smoking would be considered “cool” these days.
    I first of all don’t ever want to drink with colleagues.
    I recently did that. I had one wine, but the next day they talked about me being tipsy. I was just feeling happy and relaxed that day, plus someone was telling funny stories so I laughed a lot.
    They just wanted to believe I was drunk.

    Smoking breaks at work is for me a bullshit excuse to work less.
    I am actually surprised they don’t write it in a contract.
    While the 30 minutes of lunch are specifically indicated as non working time. And therefore I am also being pushed into having lunch in the canteen. No thank you.

  21. I recently had a talk with my manager about it. He travels 70% of the time.
    At first he liked going out for drinks and dinner, but it’s nowhere near health. So he got really tired of it too.
    He has the reputation of the “goody goody”. But at least he looks a lot fitter than the other colleagues ๐Ÿ˜‰

  22. Ah, smoking in movies… Now that you mention it, I have a hard time remembering! It’s strange since smoking is like one of those background things characters do on-screen that I barely register in my mind. I last saw Ocean’s 8, and Rihanna’s character smokes pot. Does that count?

  23. I get what you mean by they just wanted to believe you were drunk. That’s like… the strange thing about groups and awkward hangouts like that ><
    I agree that it's a bullshit excuse. I don't even understand how smoking releases stress ๐Ÿ˜ฆ because I guess I can understand to a degree if they do it because of stress but I just don't know… I can't ever get into that mindset.

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