Who are we actually trying to fool?

A couple of weeks back, Jasper and I went out for dinner.
We enjoyed the food, drinks, music, each other and the atmosphere.
My eye caught a family sitting near us.
Everyone was there: parents, grandparents, young child.
The young one was surround by four camera’s, capturing his every move.

It would be easy to judge them, but after each vacation my phone storage would be overloaded.
After a while, Jasper and I would look at the pictures which would bring us back to sweet memory lane.
During a bad day at work, I hide in my office looking at pictures which remind me that it’s all worth it.

Yesterday I read an article / blog promoting taking selfies in order to promote self love.
I’m not against this.
Sometimes I look at my own selfies and I do think “Not bad”.


Let me replicate the picture she posted at the end of her post:


If this is supposed to improve self love, call me batman.
EVERYTHING about it is FAKE.
I don’t have smooth skin. I don’t have large, blue eyes. And I am certainly not walking around in a bunny custom.

These days, many people seem to be into photoshop.
And in the very rare case of a #nonfilter picture, people are praised for showing their vulnerable side.

Vulnerable? Really?

I’m a 28 year old WOMAN who is trying to “make it” in this world.
What would I even try to achieve with a picture like this??

I’m just wondering, with these pictures,

Who are we actually trying to fool?


52 thoughts on “Who are we actually trying to fool?

  1. I think such “selfies” can actually be detrimental. They don’t make you like/ accept yourself more. They just try to lie/ skew the reality. And in the end, the only person you are hurting is YOU. Because deep down you know that is NOT you. And that you might never be THAT.

    And then praising the no-makeup/ no-photoshop photos is insane, too. It’s not “brave”. You are not a
    “hero”. It’s NORMAL. You’re normal.

  2. I completely agree with you and I’m sad that they are so many apps to make such photo’s.
    I once wrote about “who’s fault is it actually?”. Is it the creators of those apps or those naive ones using it?

    I don’t have anything against a normal amount of make up, but personally I haven’t had it on me in the past few months.
    I don’t feel freedom nor vulnerability.

  3. (Good to hear you got my comment. I thought it went to Trash again.)

    That’s a whole other topic. People often try to boycott companies because they are “harmful”, yet they still exist. Why? Because people keep buying their products. Is it the tobacco company’s fault that people can’t seem to stop smoking?

  4. Heels, makeup and deodorant don’t encapsulate the person, they only heighten desirable features that encourage mating. Filters and lenses act in the same manner. The same people that demand respect while practically undressed or promoting sex is an oxymoron that I will never grasp. The same ones who demand diversity only look at diversity as being skin deep. So, it only makes sense that selfies and posing without makeup would seem like champion behavior, since action is not a trait they seem to have.

  5. How did you manage to reply to my comment on her post? I see no “Reply” button.

    I skimmed through an interview with an Instagram star a while back. They said that they spend HOURS taking different selfies until they get just the right one. Isn’t that annoying? Doesn’t that make you even more obsessed about the way you look?

  6. I used the reply button. The follow button, reblog button and reply button seem to be tricky depending on whether I am using my phone or my computer. I don’t know why that is to be honest.

  7. The same people that want everyone to accept everyone cannot even accept themselves, so how truly accepting can they be? Like, how I love women, all women, fat, skinny, tall, short, smart and stupid. There is something special about every single woman in the world. I think it’s because I can never get tired of looking at women, perverted perhaps, but I do appreciate regardless of shape, color, religion, nationality, etc. etc. etc.

  8. I’m using the WordPress app on my phone. Perhaps that is how? I really couldn’t say to be precise, my my tablet, my computer and phone, using the internet explorer, the follow, reblog and reply sometimes elude me as to where they are located. I wish I could help, but I don’t know that much about technology.

  9. I agree with you. Who needs filters? How are young people supposed to learn that they look just fine the way they are if we keep covering ourselves with filters? I go out in public without makeup on frequently to remind people that this is my face and I like it.

  10. Ok, I see the problem.
    In the “Reader” you can reply, also when you click on the little notification button in the top right.
    Could you consider that 😉

    But I don’t know why it doesn’t work on my regular website!

  11. I know right! Everyone seems to be obsessed with it.
    I’m happy some are still believe in a pure face.
    Not that there is anything wrong with make up btw. I love a bright red lip!

  12. Well yes, I use the notification sidebar to reply. But I cannot use it to reply to other people’s comments on your site.

    Thanks for the Reader tip. You know I like to view things directly on the person’s website, but by knowing this, I can view it as I used to, but when I want to reply to a comment, I will switch to Reader format. Thanks!

  13. You’re welcome.

    Your “I refuse” statement made me think of a blog topic: “What do you refuse as a standard”.
    But to be honest, so far there is only one thing I can think of. Mhhh

  14. I can NOT stand those cartoonish overlays. I had classmates & friends get on FB with that nonsense. They would actually record themselves, looking like a half-written/programmed video game character. OY. I wanted to scream.

    I miss the days of Kodak Instamatic cameras with real film. My Grandmother gave me one when I was 12…1978. The rolls of film I went thru. The old pix I still have…

    I get professional photographers taking multiple shots to get the best in an effort to do their jobs. To me, that comes under integrity…in the days before Photoshop/PhotoSuite and the like.

    At least we know that the iconic black & white of the sailor kissing the nurse on Time’s cover is REAL…captured in the moment.

    I agree with you. Thanks for posting!

  15. So glad you agree! I am screaming too!

    Oh those good old times! The first picture of me was one that was developed by the camera itself 🙂

    i think people were less superficial back then. Now we have all the tools and opportunities to act fake.
    I don’t like it at all.

    Thanks for your awesome comment 😀

  16. I like selfies like those. I think they’re just for fun, nothing too serious. When I take them, I’m not expecting anyone to take them seriously. It’s clear that it’s fake. 🙂 But I also see your view

  17. Haha I honestly think the filter pictures like the bunnies ones are just for fun. But they do also look cuter than I would on a bad day, so they’re handy there. I can see your point actually. They definitely do turn us into pretty cartoon characters and lots of girls keep taking selfies like that because they look cute there. After a while, those filters really do seem to have no point and even get a bit annoying to see all the time xD the self-love idea is a bit skewed though because lots of girls do a lot of makeup and take 100 pictures and try different angles to get the perfect shot so they’re really manufacturing the exact look they want rather than showing how they usually look. I do that all the time and like to think I look like I do in that picture on a normal basis but I really don’t xD cause then I see a candid shot of me and I’m like “Ah yes, there I am xDD” I find it ridiculous when celebs take those no makeup pictures and are all like “look at me so natural” because it’s like… you’re still groomed every day to have perfect skin and perfect hair and all that. You’re still quite a well-groomed person on a daily basis xD a lot of effort was put into that selfie overall even if not at that very moment

  18. On one hand, these pictures make you feel like there is only one standard of beauty, blue eyes, smooth skin etc. On the other hand, I find it really amusing, all the creativity and different things you can do with it.

    For me personally, it only provides entertainment value. Like when I am goofing around with my husband and both our heads turns into pumpkins😁
    I don’t let it affect how I feel about myself. I stopped posting my pictures on social media for a while now and I don’t feel as attached to the validation loop. I feel much better when people call or text or skype with me. At least the people that matter😊

  19. I actually have couple of these filter apps and I like to experiment. But I rather transform into batman or a viking than this “cute” bunny.
    I’m allergic to adorableness I think, hahah.

    I think they are fun, but in the context of the “self love” blog I read, I cannot agree.
    Self love should be about reality. And this kind of picture is far from it.

    And personally, I really hate the picture of myself I posted and prefer the other, unfiltered ones that I posted before so much more.

    Hahaha. People would be like “Look I just wake up”, but somehow the hair is perfect and I usually can’t believe there is no foundation on the skin.
    It’s a superficial world we live in 😉

  20. I agree! It has an entertainment factor and I also like to experiment with it.
    And the faceswap thing is extremely funny 😀

    But these superficial pictures should not be associated with self love.
    And I guess you and are both grown ups who understand reality. But way too many people are not there yet unfortunately!

  21. ooooh what I like to do is send my friends a bunch of snaps of me in cute filters and then always end it in a finale where I look really freaky by using an ugly filter xD it’s like one of those jump scares b/c they don’t expect it! well maybe now they expect it…
    exactly self love isn’t about manipulating a picture the way you want to see yourself but seeing yourself the way you really are. I thought of doing a series of shots of myself from the profile view because I hate my profile >< I haven't done it yet but I think it's actually cause I haven't been taking as many pictures of myself as I used to which is also nice

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