Can you be friends with someone with a different financial status?

Friendships can end for several (weird) reasons.
Maybe because of a move.
Maybe because your relationship requires more time.
Maybe because your best friend starts something with your ex.
Maybe because of some stupid gossip incident or misunderstanding.

But what about a different financial status?

I have always put a little more into my education and was able to graduate and find a job immediately.
After a couple months, there was a significant difference noticeable in the way I spent money.
I never went shopping in expensive designer stores, but I no longer looked at price tags.
I suggested all kinds of vacation spots to go to.
I didn’t mind ordering ordering several drinks when we went to the pub.

For the first time in life, finances were no problem for me.
Neglecting the fact that I had no idea about how to build savings. Something I really do regret nowadays.

One of my friends decided to confront me on my behavior.
She told me she felt uncomfortable meeting up with me because each time we would go out to eat something.
There was always the awkward moment when the bill came.
“I don’t have that kind of money”, she said, “Why can’t we just come to my house and cook there”.

With “house”, she meant a dirty student flat.
Only once I made the mistake to enter such a building and those images will never be erased from my mind.
I did know my friend’s room was clean, but her roommates made a mess of the kitchen.
She had given up on doing all the work for them and I can’t blame her.

We had a long honest talk about it.
It ended in a lot of disappointments and an the end of the friendship.

Have you ever experienced the same? Do you think a friendship between different financial statuses is possible?

39 thoughts on “Can you be friends with someone with a different financial status?

  1. Yes. I just renewed a friendship with someone of a different financial status. My problem was I wanted to spoil her since financially I was able, but then she came to expect it. I am getting better at curbing my ‘Helping’ people when it comes to money. My financial situation is starting to suffer. That wasn’t the whole reason for the split; but, a part of it. We are both in different states now, and have started our friendship again. Life is to short for petty squabbles.

  2. Well I have a friend in the same situation so I just invite her to my place and cook myself dinner 🥘

  3. Financial status shouldn’t be a factor in a true friendship.
    If you were her friend her apartment would not have been a problem for you.

    I been holding some meetings with some wealthy people and a few have become friends. Most of them don’t like me after finding out that I want to teach their employees how to build a life time residual income.
    They like me as a person but don’t like my business and goals.

    It would be hard for your friend to stay your friend if you can’t except where she lives.
    What I am saying is you didn’t lose a friend because of financial status.

  4. You are very fast with your judgement.
    She ended the friendship, not me.

    I also know you have been reading my blogs, because you often comment, which makes me happt. you knew about my OCD. And therefore, you could have easily guessed that dirty places are hell for me.

    I’m dissapointed in what you have said. And I strongly advice you to not be so fast with judgement or else you might lose friends too.

  5. She ended the friendship, not me.
    I have told her about all my OCD problems. She was the one who couldn’t deal with me.

  6. I went to a BBQ at an old friends house. It’s his summer lake house. It’s incredible, prefect lot of land on the water and the house is amazing. I left a bit bummed out with my place in life.
    I’m not envious, I’m real happy for him. But I am questioning every decision I’ve ever made.
    We’ve been friends forever and I’ll keep it to myself because he didn’t do well in life to make me feel small.m
    But it’s there. There’s something to your post.
    ( and I get the OCD dirty apartment thing)

  7. Maybe your friend had more luck or opportunities.
    As for me and my friend, she just decided to not take university very serious. Her parents were rich enough to pay for whatever she wasted on partying.
    And now it is my time to party, but I will do it with class in nice restaurants.

    So definitely there was a mentality difference there. And I often felt the need to stimulate her or even write her CV and find vacancies.
    She had no interest.

    So partly it was the finance thing, partly the mentality.

    Thanks for sharing your story btw 🙂

  8. That’s a good question… I think upto the school level where there was a uniform for all the kids, we never could segregate friends on the basis of their financial status. But later in life, in college where some would come by cars, others bike, and some through public transport, things were more complicated. People started making groups based on that. And then the working life. I remember I would get uncomfortable with people who would spend all their money on food in exotic restaurants, trying new ones every weekend. Whereas people who insisted on going to a roadside stall with unhygienic food also got on my nerves. And I ended up with people like me. Occasionally spend a lot, but then save a lot too. So I guess it does become difficult to maintain such friendships. But it’s not unheard of. Lovely, thought provoking post…✌👍👍👍:-):-)

  9. I know that I couldn’t be friends with someone who can afford so much more than I do. That’s not lifestyle.
    But I cannot pay for each and every friend who avoids a job search.
    Sure, we can go for a walk, but there won’t more than that activities left to do.

    I’m happy to see you think beyond the obvious! It so easy to you can friends anyone, but it really isn’t that easy.

    Thanks for the comment! 🙂

  10. My entire post is dedicated to the reason why this friendship ended. I’m not trying to find a reason.
    So I’m sorry, I don’t understand your comment.

  11. It happens meaning it happened to me. I racked my brain for a long time many a time why why, then I stopped. I figured, since it happened that way (pretty much the same as yous), maybe it meant we weren’t that good after all. Maybe I thought we were better. Sometimes things happen and we have to accept them.
    (Sometimes people don’t understand each other, which doesn’t mean they don’t care. You know what I think about liking vs commenting. So, it’s ok to say-what did you mean by that or I don’t agree. We don’t always have to agree on everything. As long as we have a civilized conversation, we’re fine. Agree?)

  12. I think it can. I had a friendship end and it wasn’t because we made exorbitantly different amounts, but it was our attitude towards what we made.

  13. I do think that friendships are possible between people with different financial situations but… maybe just not with you and that particular friend lol.

  14. I think there is always that awkward moment when some start working and others are in uni.
    Students are usually broke, that’s a fact (however, not to buy beer which is remarkable).

    I personally still think it’s not easy to maintain a friendship with someone who has either way more or less money than you.
    If you’d ever want to take a vacation together, budget could become quite a topic for example.

    If you live nearby each other, it probably could work out very well, but if either one has to buy a train ticket each time you would want to meet, there will be a discussion for sure 😉

  15. You make a really good point there.
    In the end, neither of us thought it was important to adapt or agreed to meet in the middle.
    Some things are just not meant to be, I guess.

  16. Ah yeah you know I don’t have any friends so I don’t know how they work as an adult. 😛 I imagine it would be really hard to be friends with someone who couldn’t go out & do things once in awhile.

  17. But oh gosh! Now that I’m thinking about it, I ended a friendship with this girl because she asked to borrow $800 from me & I was offended she would ask such a thing from me.

  18. Sorry to spam but I also want to note we had not even known each other for a year & we were co-workers & I knew she could have made it on her own if she worked hard enough (& wasn’t spending it on drugs).

  19. It depends on their attitude.
    I have friends who can afford more, and those who can afford less. If those that afford more won’t rub it in my face, we’ll be fine. If those that afford less won’t totally damper our outings, we will be fine.
    I’m not a big spender, and I don’t meet with them too often, so I can make it work either way.

  20. Well, my friend thought that me buying a 30 euro shirt was “rubbing it in her face”.
    She asked me why I was doing it in front of her eyes, couldn’t I have done it some time else.
    She proposed shopping. I don’t do shopping for fun, so I won’t go shopping just to buy nothing and having to go another day.

    I’m not saying it’s impossible. But it is very difficult.
    In fact, friendships are difficult. That’s why I’m not seeking any new ones.

  21. 800 dollar, wow! I wouldn’t even ask for such money to parents, let alone someone I don’t so well.
    If she was spending it on drugs, most likely you’d never see your money back. Good you kept it!~

  22. But what if like if I wanna become a doctor and because of some reasons I don’t get great marks in science? Then eventually I have to give up that dream right?

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