The sore loser

I once helped a friend preparing for her job interview.
We got to the topic of “strengths and weaknesses  improvements”.

“You are quite competitive, aren’t you?”, I said.
“I am, but is that a good or bad thing?”, she looked panicked, “doesn’t that indicate me as a sore loser?”.

Interesting question.

I used compete in quite some chess tournaments, but there was one I was particularly keen on.
I actually never won the thing.
I did know  that the top 3 would always get a special announcement in the newspaper.
Thus, I could live with the 2nd or 3rd place.

More important was the interview.
The news reporters would always search for the most interesting person to write an article about.
And who would be more fascinating than the only girl who consistently fought her way to the top 3 😉

Each time I’d bring a trophee home, the first question my parents would ask
“Did your friends and other competitors congratulate you?”.
This indeed was not always the case.
Parents conclusion: “How rude. They are probably just jealous”.

Then there was that one awful year.
I ended up on the 5th place.
Worst of all, I lost to a friend.
She only ended up 3rd because she got lucky.
Words of a sore loser.

Along with that, rumors started.
Andrea must be pissed off. Jealous even.

Was I?
Pissed off for sure. I made a stupid move in a game which I could have easily won.
I was. But only because she was rubbing it in.

It’s easy to call someone a sore loser.
But I like to believe there is more than one person guilty of that.

The loser who can’t handle a bit of competition.
The overly proud winner.
And all the other people provoking and spreading rumors about jealousy.

What makes someone sore loser? Do others influence that?
Are you competitive? Do you think that’s a good or bad quality?

10 thoughts on “The sore loser

  1. I hate losing. It’s a fact.
    However, most of the time, I am able to acknowledge that someone else did better.
    I can APPEAR to be a sore loser, if I feel that I lost unfairly.
    And yes, some people like to rub their win in, and ASSUME/ pretend that I’m a sore loser, when I actually don’t care.

  2. I haven’t competed in anything for a looong time, so I have frankly clue.

    That’s an interesting thought. Their win won’t improve your life, so why would you want praise them.

  3. I honestly have the same experience with a friend. We started blogging together, but she stopped.
    Every now and then she writes one and immediately sends me the link and all. She has not liked any of my posts in the past 7 months.
    Here is me wondering as well 🧐
    I force myself to not assume jealousy. Maybe she genuinly doesn’t like my posts.

  4. Interesting to think about, being a sore loser or being a braggart about winning. I don’t think I’m either one. I like playing games and such, but maybe I’m just weird, because I don’t like to win. I’d much rather the other people win. I don’t complain about losing at all. In fact, I sometimes sabotage myself when I clearly could win, but I let the others win, just not seeming obvious about it.

  5. I’m surprisingly more competitive than I originally thought I was. I think a lot of stuff I don’t do because I don’t think there’s a point if I’m not going to win and I don’t think I will win, I guess? Not sure… Competition is stressful and it made me realize it must be because I like to win, haha. I think a sore loser is someone who doesn’t acknowledge the other person did well. They’re the ones who make excuses and don’t put themselves at fault and constantly want a rematch and they’ll only be happy once they win. It can be frustrating if you genuinely don’t think the other person deserved it, though. It’s not always a matter of ego but also of putting the self on a high standard, so when they lose, they are disappointed in themselves. It’s not always about jealousy, I think. Some people just expect a lot from themselves. I think that’s my case :\ I am genuinely happy when someone else wins. I don’t mind other people winning. I just get disappointed in myself and think that I didn’t do my best and get frustrated at the areas I’m lacking? Haha, maybe that makes me more of a perfectionist then. Interesting topic!

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