Do men really want an independent girlfriend?

The shoes on my feet, I’ve bought it
The clothes I’m wearing, I’ve bought it
The rock I’m rockin’, I’ve bought it
‘Cause I depend on me if I want it

The watch I’m wearin’, I’ve bought it
The house I live in, I’ve bought it
The car I’m driving, I’ve bought it
I depend on me, I depend on me

I settled down in the plane seat with my headphones loudly playing Destiny’s Child.
I needed the confirmation that I’m indeed an “Independent woman” ๐Ÿ˜‰

Despite my mum calling me spoiled sometimes because ofย  “all these” shoes, clothes, rock (?), watch, house (not entirely, but I do contribute) and the (company) car.
But may I also remind you, dear ms. Mum, that I have been self supplying since my 1st paycheck when I was 20?

Back to me in the plane, hoping the 3 seats would be just for me.
Luck wasn’t on my side.
A giggly girl tapped on my shoulder.
I quickly observed her.
She had long black hair and wore a dress on her very skinny body.
She didn’t seem to have any luggage which was good.
That was a relieve until I saw boyfriend struggling his way forward with a backpack and suitcase.

I grinned and let them settle down.
Headphones back on.

She tapped again on my shoulder.
She changed her mind. She suddenly felt brave and wanted to try the window seat.

Of course she got scared as soon as the plane took off.
Boyfriend had to comfort her.
Very sweet.
Although I have overcome my fear of flying, I always let Jasper hold my hand.
I know it makes him feel like a hero.

Then she got cold.
Boyfriend took his coat off which she used as a blanket.

Then the plane food arrived.
She seemed excited at first.
But after two bites she didn’t like it.
Boyfriend ate the remaining part.
The bag of candies seemed like a better alternative.
Which, as hard as she pulled, couldn’t seem to open.

I was very happy to finally get out of the plane where Jasper was waiting for me to pick me up.
On our way home I told him about my eyeball rolling plane ride.
“How can women be so dependent? You wouldn’t want me to be that, do you??”.ย 
As always he nodded and listened patiently to my rant.

By the time we got home then parking places closer to our home were taken.
“Pff babe, can you take my suitcase?”,ย I complained.

He gave me that smirk like my morning coffee would.
“You need me, don’t you?”


What do you think?
Do men prefer an independent woman or do they want to play the hero all the time?ย 

34 thoughts on “Do men really want an independent girlfriend?

  1. OMG! what a high maintenance girl (notice that I didn’t say “woman”). I have zero time and/or patience for that nonsense but then again I have a few years of experience over her apparent beau.

  2. What a perfect ending to your post.
    I don’t think you “need” him. You could have carried your luggage yourself. But you wanted him to help you.
    Men like to feel like heroes, but if a woman is completely helpless, it can be very off-putting in the long run.

  3. M glad it wasn’t me in ur place .๐Ÿ˜– seriously ….y wld any adult irrespective of their gender wld want to be baby sitted by their partner. My advice to them Go Get a life

  4. Haha I know right!
    The boyfriend really did seem to enjoy it though. I feel like he was particularly searching for a girl like that ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. ๐Ÿ˜‰

    Since it’s quite limited, Jasper enjoys to help me.
    We both lived on our own for quite some time. I’ve seen people who would immediately move in with each other without experiencing living alone.
    Once the relationship breaks, it became difficult for them to cope.

  6. Loooool love this story, especially the ending xD
    Yeah that girl’s a bit much I think, but her boyfriend didn’t seem to mind so guess it’s okay and not my business. I’d be annoyed, too, watching it though xD Oh mannn I’d be so annoyed hahaha
    I think some guys like it… or they think they do because they feel needed and then they might get tired of it later? And some guys would get annoyed from the getgo. It really depends on the guy I think! I would like having someone I can depend on like that but also don’t want to be so dependent on him either because I’m my own person and don’t want to feel like a clingy child

  7. Yeahhhhhh a lot of people jump from one relationship to another and don’t take that time to really spend time alone which I always think is a shame. Plus, they get so used to having someone there, it gets even harder to be solo. Even if someone is always in a relationship, I think it’s such a good experience to live alone at least once in your life–because it’s also I think the shortest time in your life, living alone, for most people anyway

  8. It was soooo annoying to watch haha.

    A good relationship is all about helping each other out of course. But both parties in the relationship should also be able to handle things on their own, in my opinion at least!

  9. I would have been rolling my eyes at her! Everyone is different and I am glad you can count on him without โ€œneedingโ€ him. ๐Ÿ˜€

  10. No, you’re not spoiled. You earn that money, you didn’t steal it. Nth wrong with pampering yourself.

    As for your questions, men do like independent women, working, and confident but they do love being perfect gentlemen, so let’s not spoil it. Let them. There are times when we really enjoy it (not like the girl in the plane, oh poor me. What a turn-off.)

  11. Needing someone on occasion is a lot different than being totally incapable of taking care of yourself! Good for you Andrea! I’m an independent woman too:)

  12. having some arm candy is one thing. affording the arm candy is another. putting up with the arm candy over the long term gets annoying over time. I’ll probably get myself in trouble here but I think women look absolutely exotic when all dolled up and there’s nothing sexier that a dolled up woman who is intelligent, strong and who can think for herself. everyone has strengths and weaknesses but partners bring strengths to help overcome someone else’s weaknesses to enhance the relationship. I don’t see how this would add to a relationship.

    I must come from a different time and a different universe.

  13. I donโ€™t think is really possible generalized itโ€™s not men is more certain men but I also think the definition of independence is questionable,so e women are financially independent but totally psicologically dipendent from theirโ€manโ€…..I donโ€™t work anymore and Iโ€™m financially dependent from my husband who,is instead totally dependent on me for ecpverything concerning the household,utilities,bank any bills or type of burocracy.Soi think every couple has their balance and if both are happy then let them be as they want…..but if I can say my opinion …that girl on the plane :I would have happily open the window and pushed her out๐Ÿคฃ

  14. I guess it’s all in the conditioning. With my ex-husband I used to think it was nice that he ‘adored’ me. Only that came with a lot of baggage. I, like you, value my independence and competence, and I love that my partner values this too. We need to be planting these values in young people. The old stereotypes are detrimental to everyone’s growth. Loved your post!

  15. I definitely agree with what you say.
    Most men like to treat their woman a bit and I will always gladly accept.
    But in the day to day life, a woman must be able to stand on her own two feet and take care of her own stuff independently.

    The girl on the plane was an absolute nightmare.

  16. It will save money to split the bills.
    Most youngsters don’t realize how expensive real life is.
    Now it sounds like I did. I didn’t either. But believe it or not, in my first job, first place of my own and first salary, luck was actually on my side (for once).

  17. I actually hoped more men would react to this post so we can measure it ๐Ÿ˜€
    But indeed, there is never a general rule for such.

    People often judge staying at home mums. But that’s just weird. Like you say, who would then take care of the other stuff?? ๐Ÿ˜‰
    Relationships really about balance ๐Ÿ™‚

  18. My parents never wanted me to have a relationship during my university years because it could distract me.
    I respected that wish, but also there really wasn’t anyone with mutual interested.
    After that I became shy and awkward around men haha.
    So I stayed independent for quite some time.
    Looking back at it, I don’t think it was a bad life path.

    Your comment got me thinking: Do opposites really attract?
    If one wants be more independent and the other clingy, that couldn’t possibly work!

  19. Ahhhhh I know I’m in the minority BUT I’m glad they found each other. Imagine if they were still out there trying to find the Ying to their Ylang? We’d all be having to deal with their needy shit.
    Also, independence is the freedom to choose…. You chose to get laddo picking up the cases which was incredibly sensible. Wise choices make for a happy life. You ARE independent…. Winner. ๐ŸŒŸ

  20. Hahah! Thatโ€™s an awesome way of looking at it!
    We all have out own life style and need to find some who fits right into that ๐Ÿ™‚

  21. I agree ๐Ÿ˜‰ & sometimes we can pretend to be the damsel in distress just to make them happy, even if we are independent women. โค

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