We “always” talk about people with a “strong shell, but are a softie inside”.
You might have guessed, I’m the opposite.
You’d see me crying.
You’d see me breaking down, falling on my knees,.
You’d hear me whine.
But I’m so damn tough on the inside.
I simply can’t give up.
I can’t lay down in bed all day do nothing because I think everything is worthless.
I can’t postpone things.
I hear you think, “that’s a great quality”.
But it’s also very tiring.
My mind is constant looking for solutions to fix or prevent things.
Some time back my colleague said really mean, untrue things straight to my face, just before I had an important meeting where I to do a presentation.
As soon as he stepped in my office, I KNEW he was going to say something nasty.
I mentally prepared myself and begged myself not to cry.
But, I did.
The taps opens itself, I can’t seem to help it.
On that Friday I went home and instead of taking a long bath and crawl into bed, I opened my laptop.
While re-writing my CV, I ranted to Jasper about “They’ll miss me when I’m gone”, “Who the hell does he think he is” and “I’ll show him what Andrea B. is made of”.
That weekend I applied for at least 50 jobs.
I started plotting my Plan B in case he would dare to be an asshole again.
A few weeks back, on a trip to France, I bought a cheap coffee cup where my star sign was explained:
Via Google Translate:
Generous, Dreamer, Devoted.
All true, but only what I seem from the outside.
If anyone would ever take the time to get to know me, that opinion might change.
Are you the one with a hard shell, but a soft boiled egg inside?
Or are you the one easy to tear up, but in the meantime you fix/prevent whatever needed?