Today I got to know something which is giving me a tiny bit of hope.
Hope that the future will be better.
That there actually could be a future. A nice one, potentially.
Hope that for once and for all I can cut of the demons from the past.
Or at least, forget about them more and think about them less.
What is hope even?
If I hope more, is there a better chance that this miracle can actually happen?
And how do that, have hope?
The “hope phase” seems like the moment of weakness.
Whatever could have been done, is done.
And even when you think you could have done more, you can’t go back and change it.
Often times it’s in someone else’s power, at that stage.
I remember once coming home crying, begging and praying because I thought I messed up an important exam.
My dad laughed “God is not a wizard, there is nothing he can do now for that exam”.
He told me that if I wanted to pray, I could Him for strength and peace to study for the resit exam.
But sometimes you don’t get (or deserve) another chance.
The HR person throws your CV on the stack of REJECTED.
They director finds a better actor for the play.
You screwed up with your partner because you cheated.
But before you get that confirmation, people need to take their time because they find making a decision very difficult.
They leaving you with hope.
Often people see this a wonderful opportunity. Something beautiful.
To me, it’s tiring.
How do you feel about the “hope phase”?
Are you currently hoping for something?