Online dating

So you’re getting older.

You have decided you want to settle down outside of the city center.
Where everything is quieter.

You have decided you want to build up a career.
Weekends have become precious.
Late nights at the club or pub are no longer part of your agenda.
Sleeping before it gets dark, is.

You go to the gym with the purpose of doing actual work outs instead of meeting hot six pack boys or bikini body girls.
And oh how charming you look with that red, sweaty face.

And yet, somehow you can’t find a date ๐Ÿ˜‰

The 21st century offers the solution for you:

Online dating

Valentino

I remember my Tinder daysย  years.
A friend talked me into it.
Since she got lucky by using it, I finally decided created a profile.
Very scared that I might meet someone I knew.

And I did.
I remember myself thinkingย “How pathetic are they?!”.
Meanwhile I deleted the app in the morning before going to work and installing it again in the evening.

My evening constant swiping without looking.
50 clicks per minute.
After a “match” I would decide if I actually liked this person.

Sometimes he’d say something inappropriate.
Instant block.

Sometimes he would take too long to answer.
I want to block him, but instead I choose to become desperate, wait and send multiple messages.

Other times we talked for too long and we decided either to end it or meet up.
Although I’m curious, meeting up is scary.
What if they are not the person from the picture.
What if I’m not the person from the picture (!)
Obviously all my Tinder pictures were taking from the best angle, looking all cute and happy.

In fact, I think the entire purpose of my Tinder experience was not actually meeting someone, but to fill up the loneliness of living on your own.
That was slowly killing me.

Have you ever tried out a dating site?
What was your purpose and experience?

38 thoughts on “Online dating

    1. I lived on my own for quite some years. I have never been successful online dating.
      Jasper and I worked together on a project at work. Both he and I never had any relationship before that ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Ok ok, โ€œjustโ€ 6 years on my own. But I grew up in family which so loud and present (except for me amd dad). Suddenly that was gone, so I felt extra alone.

        Anyhow, living on my own is not for me.

        Online dating is a bit scary, at first. Then became desperate and the sweet pressure from mum (โ€œwhen can I expect grandchildrenโ€) did help much either.

        Thanks for the wishes. I think he and I will be fine. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t believe in it either, but I did hear some success stories.
      The aspect I do appreciate about online dating is that people are more open online. It does give a better chance to have an actual conversation. And if the ice broken online, it might be easier face to face ๐Ÿ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

      1. If i still had to search for relationship today, Iโ€™d be lost. In my neighborhood itโ€™s very quiet. Luckily those issues are long gone now.
        WP seem to be somewhat normal yes ๐Ÿ˜‰

        Liked by 2 people

  1. I still do, post marriage. I dont really have time to meet people the old fashion way with my job and commitments, so I guess it’s more of a convenience for me. I have met some really good people, a few scumbags, and actually made a couple of platonic friends.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am trying some Free sites now. POF, Free Date, CFF… It’s tough because most men will write once and I haven’t reached the meeting stage.
    It’s like nobody is serious, out there.

    Like

  3. A lot of truth there. The silence can be deafening. I didnt use Tinder but I did try a dating site. There were a lot of creeps. I too, blocked them. I was clear that I wasnt looking for a hookup, nor was I looking for marriage….relationship either will or wont, happen naturally. I did want someone to talk to at the snd of the day. I was fortunate to have met someone that I emailed with for several weeks before we decided to talk on the phone. It was still a few months before we decided to meet. We ended up dating ( long distance) for 9 months, chaperoned by one or both of my adult children. Dec 10th will be our 12th wedding anniversary.

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    1. You’re the first one to mention that you understand the connection between loneliness and seeking out for conversations on dating site.
      And for you it has led to a wonderful story. So happy to hear! ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  4. Yeah… my friend keeps trying to get me to try online dating because I have no experience and all that, but I’m such an old romantic. I don’t want to date because I’m lonely. I want to happen into an organic relationship and foster a great love that way. I’m not looking for romance so much as keeping an eye out for it, so I don’t think online dating is necessary in that case. Everyone has different tastes and thoughts on love, so it’s not up for me to judge, of course. I just wish people would respect my desire to stay off online dating (which sounds funny, I know, because the negative stigma used to be on people who would do online dating). Maybe in the future I will try it, but I just can’t get into the idea of coldly swiping based on what you see or what the person wants to show you about themselves. There’s nothing intimate about it. It’s like when I’m shopping on Amazon. Do these dates come with reviews? But honestly it goes beyond that for me! I don’t like being set up, either. There’s a nosy feeling to it and I don’t like others getting involved in my love life. Sigh. I’m pretty private in that regard. #ForeverAlone here I come xDDD

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    1. I always dreamed bumping into prince charming during groceries or on public transport and we end up having this amazing love story.
      That never happened unfortunately.

      I met my boyfriend through work, which was nothing like you see in the movies (or Suits!) ๐Ÿ˜‰
      I was 25 when I met him and before I went on a couple of dates which was nothing more than just dinner. And I usually ended up paying half of the bill (!) ๐Ÿ˜‰

      Liked by 1 person

  5. You’re so funny! Really like your post. Regarding online dating, i never tried it, I still believe that if you really want something, like meet someone, you should invest first in yourself and slowly the right person comes to you… hopefully… i’m still waiting too… i still have hope and after years and years of datings, frustrated relashionships, I decided i will be myself and whoever comes, will have to accept me as I am, even my crazy strange habits…

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    1. I totally agree with you.
      The whole Tinder experience seemed very worthless. I actually ended up having two dates which didn’t work. There were expectations from both sides which in writing and pictures were true, but in real life not.

      I actually met my boyfriend when I was in the same phase as you. I deleted all the dating accounts and focused on myself.
      And then it happened.
      I am very sure it will for you as well ๐Ÿ™‚

      Like

  6. I’ve never tried tinder–because like you, I’m afraid I’ll swipe on someone I actually know. I have tried other sites and while I’ve had some success (I’ve managed to get two boyfriends and some long term dating out of it–not all at once of course), I think the entire online dating culture gives me “dating fatigue”.

    I wish you the best of luck with your tinder adventures!

    Like

  7. My experience of tinder was very different. Eventually it felt like a catalog for sex or a job that paid in dates…. eventually it felt sleazy and sad

    Like

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