Looking back at my youth, there are many things I wish I had the courage to do differently.
There are many things I wished my parents handled in a different way as well.
But how can I blame them.
Parenting class 101 doesn’t exist.
They didn’t have the resource of internet to seek advice on.
Many topics were a taboo.
People claim that mental health issues and anxiety are something you are born with.
Isn’t that easy, blaming the genetic influences?
We often tend to forget that bad previous experiences can have a mayor impact on how a child will grow into an adult.
Bad experiences which weren’t necessary.
Actions with which could have been stopped by parents, teachers, adults.
The most horrific act that people just let happen.
Maybe because they are afraid of their own reputation.
Maybe because they simply don’t have the energy to do something about.
Maybe because they secretly enjoy to see someone else suffering.
I was bullied throughout most my high school years.
Teachers witnessed it.
They choose to first put the blame on me.
Until my parents revolted, they choose to “help me”.
They send me to the school mental health person to find out what was wrong with me.
Let’s blame it on the victim, shall we?
I remember the first excitement of transferring from primary to secondary school.
Growing up in a small town, there was only one school.
My parents quickly decided this was the one I was going to spend the next couple of years on.
It would make it easier for them since I was only a 10 minute bike ride away.
Of course they had a talk with the teachers.
And they were helpful to show off important stuff like expensive school books and their wonderfully large new canteen.
Never ever has anyone ever spread a word about the school policy against bullying.
My parents never even assumed that kind of cruelty would take place either.
Until it did happen.
My parents were supportive, always.
But they took the “wrong” actions.
Calling the principal with an emotional outburst behind my back didn’t help my situation.
But again, how were they supposed to know how to handle this.
These taboo topics are slowly getting more attention in the media.
Netflix’ popular series 13 reasons why is dealing with several bullying topics and how teenagers, parents and teachers have different ways of responding to it.
Season 1 shows how the main character, Hannah, decided to take her own life after no one had picked up on the signals she was sending for being bullied.
Season 2 shows how Hannah’s mother tries her hardest to win the trial against the zero safety measures of the school.
While watching I couldn’t help but thinking “Couldn’t this have been prevented?”
Not just the bullying.
Not just the insufficient communication with her daughter.
But what about the dialogue with the school?
And how about the school seeking the dialogue with parents?
I stumbled upon a great article about “Bullying and your Role as a Parent”.
Source/original article from: Hogan Injury
It gives excellent guidelines on how to act when you notice your child is being bullied in a calm matter.
About informing yourself into school policies against harassment.
They offer consultation for parents who’s children are struggling with these experiences at shcool.
It warms my heart reading an article like this.
Struggling with bullying feels like an extremely lonely process, but firms like Hogan Injury show that you most certainly do not stand alone.