“I’m not trying to be rude, but .. ..”

This is what someone said to recently.

She paused for a second after “but”, which gave me the opportunity to analyze the situation and write a blog about ( the latter is not entirely true 😉 ).

I hate when people say this.
They are apologizing in advance for an insult they’re going to make.
Question is, do you actually want to hear it?

Sometimes people want to give you “constructive” feedback by means of an insult.

Sometimes people actually want to give you good advice by means of an insult.

I have been often told I misunderstood an insult.
“They meant it actually in a good way, you’re misinterpreted them”.
OH OK. Let’s just blame someone else’s stupidity on me.


The second passed and before she even had the chance to say what she didn’t want to be rude about, I interrupted her.
“Don’t say it”.

I guess I will never know, but  I might be better off.

Would you have wanted to know or would you interrupt the other like I did? 

18 thoughts on ““I’m not trying to be rude, but .. ..”

  1. Arghhhh! I loathe it when people do this … it’s quite a female thing to do as well. “I’m not being bitchy but …. “ And then they go on to absolutely slate you or someone! It doesn’t soften the blow, it’s trying to make it acceptable to be foul! Can’t be doing with it … I’d have done exactly what you did! Katie x

  2. Rude is rude. Prefacing it with “not trying to be” is just, well, rude! I would have let her have her say, then turned on my heels. You don’t need negative people in your life.

  3. I hate that if you want to say something just say it as bad as it ,you think it you say it you take responsibility for it or you shut up and keep it for yourself.
    I am personally very irritated by the ones who start saying “I might be the last one who can judge but…..”,for god sake ,you are judging you just don’t want to look presumptuous…something that we all are once in a while….so,once again,be honest judge and say it or shut up.

  4. “I might be the last one to judge”. CLASSIC ONE!
    It makes no sense at all. If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t even open your mouth!
    I feel your frustration!

  5. They might respond with “just want to tell you the truth”.

    Ohh you mean, YOUR truth. That’s just an opinion, hon.
    Grrrrrr 😉

  6. Ugh, this annoys me too. If you’ve had the time to think about whether or not the person might take what you’re about to say as rude, then you have time to think of a better way of saying it! They obviously know it might upset you, but they’re going to say it anyway! They’re the same kind of people that use ‘I’m just being honest’ as an excuse to just be a bitch. If it doesn’t add value just don’t say it!!

  7. haaaa I remember I made a whole youtube video on this once with a friend a few years ago xD I don’t know why people do this… myself included. I probably do it and don’t even realize it!!!

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