Communication is a two way street

I have been told I am quiet person.
Too quiet.
Too invisible.

I’ve been advised to do more small talk at work.
” You don’t have to plan a meeting if you want to discuss something”.
In fact, someone advised to book time in my calendar to make small talk with colleagues.

“If you don’t have any work related topics, ask them how they are doing”.

What they did in the weekend.
How they’re wife is.
The freaking color of their socks??

Truth is, I am shy.
I am afraid that I’m wasting their time.
I am afraid I’m  wasting MY time.

I can’t remember when trying to work efficient has become a negative mindset.
But apparently, people have been talking about me.
“She doesn’t show much interest in her colleagues”, has been mentioned.

Since I started here, nobody has showed interested in me either.
Neither they wanted to take the time to help.
You didn’t hear me complaining about it. I was fine with being left alone.

With their talking behind someone’s back, they forgot one tiny detail.

Communication is a two way street!



29 thoughts on “Communication is a two way street

  1. For me is not important how much someone says. It is about the quality of talk. It is better to be silent than to say nonsense.

  2. I would love the quietness of no one bothering me for chit-chat! But, maybe just making sure you say hello and smile each time you see someone as you pass them in the halls would be enough to make them stop talking.

  3. Seriously? I thought everything was going well at the new place! Maybe you should ask why they are talking about your personal skills when your actual work is complete and well thought out and isn’t that what matters at work?

  4. I thought that’s what I did. Unfortnately I cannot “be myself” in this scenario. It’s going to be fake happy hello’s from now on. Let’s see if they like that version of me 🤡🤡

  5. I think it’s the Dutch culture. Introvertism is like crime here. I’ve never heard my Belgian or Danish colleagues “bitching” about it 😉

  6. I don’t associate with my colleagues that much either. I’m sure they talk about how I’m uninterested behind my back, too. I could care less to get know them because it WOULD be a waste of time lol.

  7. I hear ya. It takes a while for the new person to re-adjust (meaning for the others to haze the newbie and assert their position). The truth is that people like to chitchat. They like to gossip. You will not waste THEIR time, but you WILL waste yours. However, in a workplace, teamwork and interactions among the team members is an integral part of evaluations, so, you might want to re-consider. I feel your pain, though.

  8. Wow, that’s really wrong. I don’t like that it how in some workplaces, you’re expected to be some sort of social butterfly. Not everyone is outgoing! Some might be shy, others might have anxiety, the list can go on and on. In my last workplace, the ladies there were super “clicky” and I could tell right away that they weren’t interested in me because I was shy. I just have a hard time talking to new people and prefer being one on one personally. I really connected to this. Great post 🙂

  9. I totally get how you feel.
    People always tell you to “be yourself”. But when you are, you get judged for being the quiet type!
    I too like to limit myself to one person. That’s when you see the “fun” me. In a group, I just seem to can’t say anything.

    I hope I will ever find a workplace where this is just accepted!

    Thank you for your comment 🙂

  10. Hi Andrea! I really like your writing style, way of thinking and vision. Great blog you wrote down here, I totally agree by the way. I’m studying communications in Belgium so I know very well what you’re talking about 😉 Keep going, would love to be in touch sometime!

  11. Hoi! I just read you’re Belgium and I am guessing Vlaams? 😉 which city?

    Thank you so much for you follow! I will return the favor!

  12. Yes I am! Tienen, ligt dichtbij Leuven 😊 en oh, het is vreemd dat mijn pagina niet wil laden… is het adres normaal gezien hoor.

  13. Ah ok! Ik ben af en toe in Oostende voor werk!

    Je website doet het wel als ik het copy paste, maar als ik op je naam klik, niet. Waarschijnlijk iets met je instellingen! Ik had zo iets en kreeg er nooit followers bij. Beetje zonde 😉

  14. I just discovered this post & I can’t help but point out how similar our thought processes are when it comes to work style. I have been told a lot of things you mentioned above, mostly “ she is so quiet” when in fact what I am thinking is “i don’t want to waste my time or theirs, so I will work during work time so i don’t have to work ‘overtime’. That’s just me though and no judgements to people who love socializing at work at all! AND i just wrote a post titled ‘How to Communicate Effectively? – Pick a Color!’ Would love to know your thoughts! For some reason, I think I already know your color!!🤔😊🙌🏼

  15. I think we have written a lot about the same topics!
    That’s so cool!

    I am definitely RED! With a little touch of Yellow. Because I do feel like colleagues could involve a little bit more.
    Most my colleagues are Green and Yellow. Which is a bit strange, because 95% of them are men. 😉

  16. You are just a deep soul, sensitive, still waters, observant. Brilliant!

    Next time someone “advises” you to do small-talk and even ruin your calendar, so they feel more secure in their unimportant topics, agree that you will book a regular small talk into your calendar if they book a REAL conversation in theirs!

    Don’t bend yourself. Be you. Full Stop!

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