The biggest lie I tell myself

When people ask me whether I like honesty, I’d  immediately say YES!!
Sometimes it might be the limit of rudeness, but at least it’s honest.
I can handle any criticism. I can work on criticism.
Honesty is good.

I had earlier send an email to a friend which the proud announcement of my Emotion Doodles webshop.
“Let me know what you think!”, I wrote.
He replied.
“It’s a quite simple design, but some are quite ok.”
Then he listed the drawings he didn’t like so much.

Slap in the face, shot in the heart.
Of course I gave him the liberty of giving his opinion, but sometimes the unexpected truth of someone else isn’t as wonderful.

I try to limit on giving my opinion.
Giving someone too many compliments, will most likely make them arrogant.
Being critical can arise anger or sadness to the other.
“It’s all about how you say it” is an important key element.

Once, a friend seemed very unhappy about a too short hair cut.
“What do you think?” , she asked me in tears.
My honest opinion is that I really didn’t like it, but I couldn’t tell her that.
I couldn’t tell it looked awesome either!
The best thing I could do was google for “cool short hair styles”.
We went to buy a flat iron.
And I shared some tricks to make your hair grow faster.

I have been in her position before.
Worse even. I basically had a mullet if didn’t put my hair in a ponytail.
In that period I went on a date.
When the guy joking pulled the rubber band out of my hair, he literally started laughing and cut off the date.

I convince myself constantly that I like knowing the truth.
But that is the biggest lie I keep telling myself.

If you don’t like my looks, don’t say it.
If you think my writing or blogging is crap, don’t mention it.
If you don’t like my clothes, keep quiet about it.

Let me believe that some of the things that make me happy, are still nice.


24 thoughts on “The biggest lie I tell myself

  1. I learned the hard way never to ask questions you are not prepared to get the answer for.but I also believe that we all have different taste and if someone does or buy something because they think is good and they like it ,even if I don’t I have no really right to say so.

  2. Boomer sorry,I pushed sent instead of return.i haven’t finish.what I meant was that If opinion is not asked I assume someone does something because they like it and I am nobody to offend their taste,if opinion is asked well,sometimes I am honest and sometimes I am not because I don’t like to hurt people feelings and also I acknowledge the fact that we all like different things😀

  3. Well too bad for him because your designs are adorable.
    I appreciate honesty to a point. If someone is going to tell me, “So you’ve lost 10 pounds, you’re still fat.” That’s just rude!

  4. This reminds me of our earlier conversation about people being dismissive and hurtful. Ignore them Andrea. I love your designs. I also enjoy your writing. Keep at it please.

  5. I agree, everyone is allowed to share their opinion and buy what they do and don’t like.

    But also you are right about learning the hard way.
    I shall reduce asking opinions of “friends” 😉

  6. Ugh. When you work on hard on something and someone still finds a way to bring you down, it’s better no to talk to that person. That is rude indeed!

    Thanks for the compliment though 😀

  7. yes! if someone doesn’t ask for your opinion, definitely don’t say anything. Unless it’s something inappropriate.

    Oh well, this is how we found out who are friends are. I’m an extreme to be honest and most likely I will never send an email back to him. Friendship over ? 😉

  8. I always try to ask myself, is my honest opinion actually helpful in this situation? I believe in honesty too and sometimes that means telling people something they don’t want to hear, but these days too many people seem to use ‘being honest’ as an excuse to say something they know will hurt someone when it won’t actually change anything. You’re right, we have to find balance and understand what the repercussions are. Easier said than done sometimes, but luckily for me though I have to tell people things they don’t want to hear everyday at work so I’ve become an expert at finding creative ways of making it sound positive 😂

  9. Thank you!
    It discouraged me for a slight second, but I am over it now. How could I not with this wonderful, supporting WordPress community 😀

  10. That’s a very good thing to ask yourself!
    I personally don’t appreciate “negative” opinions if the other doesn’t have improving suggestions.
    It’s very easy to bring someone down.
    You seem to be well educated in giving constructive feedback! That’s awesome!
    Do you work in HR maybe? 🙂

  11. It’s called, Tact. Which real friends are supposed to have. WordPress is put out (mine) for strangers. If your thoughts insult me; I won’t Follow you and may suggest you leave.

  12. Oh my gosh, Andrea. I can’t believe that rude asshole jerk who pulled your rubber band out of your hair! Who gave him the right to do that in the first place?! & really?! He cut off the date because of a haircut…he will be going nowhere in life! So sorry you had to go through that! ❤

  13. Ah this is soooo funny and soooooooo true! Just had a right old chuckle to myself. I wish people wouldn’t even ask for an honest opinion when it’s often clear they don’t want it!

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