Being the newest addition to a work place is never easy.
Especially if you’re young, shy and not from the same area as they are.
Sometimes you might get forgotten.
That happened yesterday to me.
Usually once a month the “Management Team” is invited for a whole day meeting and dinner the evening before.
For the meeting, preparation was expected from me.
But I didn’t see an invite for a dinner.
It seemed odd, but I thought it was just part of company savings.
Later that evening I got a text from the organizer “sorry sorry, I completely forgot to include you”.
For a minute I felt an arrow going straight through my heart.
Here we go again.
After years of being bullied, neglected and forgotten, I still couldn’t get used to feeling.
It could have been a nasty action as well as an honest mistake.
I needed a moment to get my thoughts straight.
Usually I would start crying, search for reasons why this happened and my OCD would be triggered.
Even though, in all honesty, I much rather spend an evening at home eating wonderful homemade pasta, watch another murder series and be with someone I really like.
I have to remind myself to focus at the bigger picture.
As bad as life might seem at this moment, I do know that this by far is not my final destination.
This is not my final job.
These are not my final colleagues.
This is not our final home.
This is not my final weight.
In the 60 years that I am probably going to be on this planet, many things will change.
Boyfriend and I even have a 5 year plan, which hopefully is not even going to be in this country.
I will never even see these people again.
So if in that short amount of time things are going to change, why worry about what happens today?
This thought calmed my senses.
I took a deep breath, a shower and crawled under a blanket on the couch and did what I like to do the most the person I like the most.
People always talk about living in the moment.
Which is perfectly fine if everything is going well.
But in the occasion of ending up in a negative spiral, think about where you want to be in a few years.
Focus on that bigger picture!