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Confrontation

In my early 20’s I befriended a 10 year older Polish lady.
She had a classy clothing style. Walked around in high heels to expand her long legs.
Had beautiful long, blonde hair. And applied just the right amount of make up.
Plus, she was extremely funny and intelligent too.

We didn’t see like the type of people who would be friends.
I am short and wore sneakers. My hair would be in a messy ponytail and I wouldn’t wear anything other than a simple pants and a stripe shirt.
But, somehow we had that “click” 😉

One day we browsed through her old photos.
She got a mirror out of her handbag, held it in front of her face and looked disappointed.
“Oh Andrea”, she said , “what have I done to myself?”.
I told her to quit  the non-sense. In my eyes, she hadn’t changed one bit.
“Just make sure you will never have to tell this to yourself“, she told me.

I wasn’t worried at that time.
I was in the gym every day.
In the summer I would watermelon for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
In the winter, I ate Jalapenos which would make me drink a lot of water.
I felt energetic and happy about my life.
It showed in my appearance too. My skin and hair were of its best quality and my body was in shape.

3 years after I went through a couple of years where all this positive energy disappeared.
I was bullied at my job.
I felt lonely and had no future perspective.
I wasn’t going to the gym. Didn’t drink water. Ate unhealthy food.
And unfortunately, that showed too in my appearance.

Recently I joined the gym again.
I felt optimistic about and thought I would continue with where I left a couple of years back.
WRONG.
I’m nearly coughing up a lung after 10 minutes on the machines.

Yesterday, I decided I would do Zumba.
In my “gym-years”  I did Zumba 4 times a week.
It’s a fun exercise and I knew the basics.
What could possibly go wrong.

There I was.
In front of a big ass mirror when the music started.
I was shocked with what I saw.
This was how I looked? This is how dance?
The confrontation with myself was HUGE.

I remembered the words from my Polish friend.
What have I done to myself.

I feel disappointed.
There is a long way to go back to the shape I was in.
But, I did back then. I can do it again 😉

 

15 thoughts on “Confrontation

    1. I am really going to have to.
      I don’t mind going to the gym yet, so that’s good at least 😉
      But it’s clear that, never ever, in your life should you take a long break from exercise!
      Good luck to you too!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. O Dear I wouldn’t worry too much.Because the will to go back to shape comes from inside you you’ll reach your goal without even realizing it,but the ugly thrift is that our body changes over the years,even against our will and despite our efforts.you might still fit in that skirt but it won’t look that good anymore on you🤷🏻‍♀️.But we
    change as well and we become accepting.You are still well far away from this point.so just enjoy your time ,be yourself and make yourself feeling good,whatever it means❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha yeah. It will change.
      I do enjoy sports, so maybe you’re right. It might change without me noticing on a day to basis.
      Looking forward for the day that I do notice it in the positive direction 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Andrea I love your new picture.
    Okay now, I am hitting the gym from past months and I know. I know.
    Been there done that.
    I am missing from a week and and am afraid too, I won’t be able to run.
    But it’s okay. We won’t give up.
    You are beautiful. ❤️

    Like

  3. I thought I was going to die in a Zumba class. I was beet red in the face and did not enjoy it at all!
    You my friend, you don’t worry about what you saw. You will be back in shape and running circles around everyone else in that class while dancing the moves perfectly.

    Like

    1. Haha zumba is a bit more intense than it seems. Too bad you didnt like it!
      It’s definitely not easy, but once you know the dance, it’s a lot more fun.
      Althiugh, the zumba music used to be a lot more fun!
      I just did a 20 minute workout. It’s short, but better than nothing 💪😉

      Liked by 1 person

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