Whatever you do, you’re doing it wrong

The other week it was “my time of the month”.
All ladies will know that this is never a convenient period and I definitely don’t cope with it very well.
Someone noticed I looked a bit off.
“I can see your not doing well, don’t come near me, I don’t want to get ill”, he said.

Well, dear male person, don’t you worry.
I don’t think you will be dealing with a bloating belly, tender breasts and certainly you won’t bleed from down there any time soon.

Now that winter is knocking on our doors, I also have, like many others, caught a cold.
This made me think twice before I going into the canteen to have lunch.
I knew that if I would only cough just a slight bit, people would act paranoid.
But what if I decided to go home, everyone would judge me as well with “she can’t handle anything”.

I often feel like whatever I do, I am doing it wrong.

When I am feeling excited about something, people think I am loud and annoying.
When I am quiet, people won’t even notice me.

When I am wearing black and white, it’s boring.
But I have been told many colors don’t suit me.

When I’m eating people would give me the “watch out, it goes straight to your ass” “advice”.
When your appetite is a little less, you’d get the “stop these crazy diets of yours”.

When you drink 2 glasses of wine, people assume you’re drunk.
When you don’t drink, you’re dull.

I don’t care too much about what people think of me, but you can’t avoid it either.
Most of the day you will be surrounded by them, so it could be nice to feel accepted at least.

The question “How do I make myself loveable towards others?” has always bothered me.
So far, my tactic of being just quiet, but friendly has not really helped me.
For some reason, it makes people think I am fragile.
And nobody likes the weak ones.

I always feel like I have to earn the respect from others.
But WHY?
Nobody needs to earn my respect.

People are too complicated for my abstract brain.
This is probably why I choose an engineering education.
Apparatus can be equally annoying, but at least they won’t judge you 😉

What are you tips and tricks to make yourself loveable towards others?


22 thoughts on “Whatever you do, you’re doing it wrong

  1. I always struggle to form and maintain friendships. I used to be desperate to please so I always played a role and conformed to what was expected of me. I’m trying to be my own person now and have lost many friends or so called friends this last year.

  2. I feel you. I am in the same boat. Often times I am very happy to just spend time with the loved ones who don’t judge, but still, you’re expected to be at work 8 hours a day. It’s frustrating really.

  3. Yeah. I can so relate to it. I am a teenage girl, very simple. I don’t wear makeup but yes, I do wanna wear makeup in future. But it seems like people are gonna judge me if I do it. Infact, whatever I do , I feel judged.

  4. Ugh, teenage years are the most difficult ones and unfortunately, you will always been judged.
    The most important thing is that it won’t affect your private life and sleep.
    As for make up, I have made a lot of mistakes with that. I would put brown eye shadow on a pimple to “hide it”, or use way too dark foundation for my skin type.
    But I was criticized for it, instead of someone just giving me sincere advice.
    My advice to you would be to watch some youtube video’s or let the people in the store consult you about colors. And then just start slowly applying make up.
    And then, one day, when you’re a bit older, you won’t have the energy to wake up earlier to do your make up, haha.
    Good luck girl! Never worry about stupid people. Seek the nice and intelligent, they will never be rude to someone 🙂

  5. Just be you. People will always judge you no matter what you do. I have realised that’s it’s impossible to please all. You are original and unique. Just stick to that and enjoy yourself!

  6. Very true. However, you will never be able to avoid people. So whether we want or not, we will always want fit in or at least be able to have a conversation with someone. And that is some times hard if everyone thinks you’re odd.
    Fortunately that has become a lot better and even it happens, I cannot be bothered to let it affect my private life. So that’s good 😀

  7. Great advice, thanks a lot. Being very genuine is that I am not a person with many pimples or marks. And the thus, its not the reason I wanna wear makeup. The reason why i wanna wear it, is because I am fond of it. And yes, I think I’ll ne judged. But as u said, we’re just gonna get judged anyhow so why not do whatever the hell we want, yeah?

  8. True!
    Actually, the entire motivation behind my blog was a quote from Modern Family:

    “This is the funny thing about growing up.
    For years and years, everybody is desperately afraid to be different.
    And then, suddenly, almost overnight, everybody wants to be different.
    That is where we win.”

    I try to keep that in mind!

  9. Haha I am sure you are 🙂 But probably it took some time to get there.
    I am slowly starting to see the real priorities and not does not include being popular for the wrong reasons 😉

  10. Don’t quite get all the feminine biological stuff ( I usually go “lalalalalalalalalala” when all the women at work start talking about that stuff (I am significantly outnumbered 20 to 1 because our teachers and staff are all females)

    But I do get the idea of being caught between a rock and a hard place – everything we do being critiqued by people and not being able to please them, because whatever choice I make, or whatever I naturally just do won’t be right. (and why do I worry about that anyway ??? so illogical and contrary to who I am!)

    We aren’t the only ones, it’s an old problem! In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus described it,

    16 “To what can I compare this generation? It is like children playing a game in the public square. They complain to their friends, 17 ‘We played wedding songs, and you didn’t dance, so we played funeral songs, and you didn’t mourn.’ 18 For John didn’t spend his time eating and drinking, and you say, ‘He’s possessed by a demon.’ 19 The Son of Man, on the other hand, feasts and drinks, and you say, ‘He’s a glutton and a drunkard, and a friend of tax collectors and other sinners!’ ” Matthew 11:16-19 (NLT)

    In answer to your question, after 52 years I know what I should do, what works, That is to love them, to not care about their quirkiness, or their brokenness, or even their irritability. As we love them, we don’t have to worry about being lovable – we just are. So that’s what words, what I should do…. now the challenge…. doing it. (that takes a bit more effort)

    great question!!!

  11. Haha, never mind those female issues 😉

    I agree that it is hard to love and ignore. I will have to learn over time as well. But partly, you can also be selective about you’re letting into your life and not 🙂

  12. Love doesn’t ignore, that’s one of the challenges in life. It forgives and finds a way to help the offender reconcile and make it right. (Which is a heck of an investment! One only that love could cause us to make!)

    As to being selective about who I let in my life… well, as a pastor I don’t get that luxury 🙂

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