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My pessimistic heart

In Dutch we have a saying:  “After rain comes sunshine”.

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I always had a complex relationship with this phrase.

First of all, if I take it too literally (and I am that kind of person 😉 ):
I actually don’t like sunshine at all, except for that one week of holidays at the sea.
Rain suits me better.

Let’s take a look at it in the proverbial way:
My dad always said this to whenever I was feeling negative about something, before even knowing the result.
“You might feel bad now, but after rain comes sunshine, things will be better!”, he’d say while giving me a comforting hug.

He meant well, but all I could think about “Oh, so after that sunshine, rain will come again”?
I started to believe that life was only about waiting for next good or bad thing to happen.

I might have not always been lucky with classmates and colleagues.
Yet again, I have been lucky with finding the right friends and boyfriend.

My parents didn’t have much money to spend, which often prevented us from going on holidays.
But my salary is really more than OK now and I have been catching up on the countries I wanted to visit.

Apparently, there is some sort of  balance.

And even though all the bad things have left me a very bitter feeling, I did learn a lot from them.
Not only about myself, but also what type I should avoid.
And not forget, it has lead me to blogging 😀

It’s been “raining” for me for quite some months now.
But, very carefully, I feel like it’s time to put on my sunglasses.

However, the chess player in me does think three steps ahead and I have already made a plan B if the new job does not work out.

It’s true, I do have a pessimistic heart.

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16 thoughts on “My pessimistic heart

    1. I learned from the hard days.
      But sometimes the hard moments are too much, too often. Meanwhile you’re working very hard towards something better, something in the universe just doesn’t seem fair.
      I believe some people are made for a little less luck in life and you simply have to find a way to deal with it.
      But true, without “bad” we’d never know “good” 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  1. We are so much alike…I love rain as well and its blissful solitude!!
    You are such a darling…don’t worry dear, you shall recover, learn and find your happiness amidst all the “misses” and “hard luck”
    Warm hug to you❤

    Like

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